29日12月

不晓得为什么今天有这个心情blog。。
是天意，还是命运，我一直都不相信，
我以为，只要有你；你的笑容，我便不再是一个人
29，对我来说，代表着许多meaningful的事
我妈，妹妹，朋友，深知她都和我一样。。都是29日出生的。
可是，我突然发现，我和她嫩一起的时间不多了。
我贪婪的希望有一天，每个月德29头属于我和她，那该多好。
今天有时29日。
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我相信每一本书，
不管是好的坏的，是厚的还是薄的，
都会有一个结局。。
才认识不久的我们，短短5个月里，
留下了满多的memories..
可是，现在才发觉到我们很少合照 T_T
我觉得我好笨哦！不会珍惜那片刻!!!
很多时候，我不停的责怪自己，
为什么我总是似气球泄了气般，无法从容面对你。
心理纵然有千言万语， 却对你沉默不语，
也许，我的沉默只因为我想多看你一眼。你知道吗？
你的笑是我快乐的泉源，我不介意把我的一切来换你对我的微笑

我明白，每个故事都会有结局的时候，
我不希望我们的故事的无尽头的；我只求那个结局别来得太快。。
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姐啊。。好sad!!
读了你那封sms之后，
我再没有勇气说我想念你
而我的心，也就这样碎了。
haihhh..好丢脸哦。。我有哭了！
好难忘的29。。

我。。

我会默默地想念你，我不会忘记你！！
因为你，我找到了现在的我；
如果给我机会再次从来，我也会选择这一步。
未来会怎样我不知道，
我只要你知道，在我心里有属于你的空间； 在我记忆里留着你得温柔；在我生命力存在着你灿烂的笑容。
我会一直留着这空间在我心里直到。。永远。。
没有人是能取代这个位子的；
姐，我好希望现在能再次听见你的声音。。T_T!!
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脑哩好多问题ah!!!
- 我是不是因该送你；最后一次的见面在airport？
好怕我又会哭哦！！

- 姐， 当天能和你合照吗？
让我们一起写这最后的结局吧。。

- 如果我真地哭了，能和你拥抱吗？

- 当你回来的时候，你是否还会记得我？

- 你回来时，还回找我吗？会通知我吗？
我不介意接你啊。。

- 最后一个问题，你是否将读我这blog呢？
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姐，不管你去了多远。。
我只要你记得我，也要你知道我天天都会想着你，
不管你还认我这个弟弟没有，你永远都是我最爱的姐！！

----
*我哭了*
-彦毅-

Tagged???

Well I don't know since when this thing starts...but i've been tagged??
Well....nvm la...just playing around with this...

LIST OF TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:

All the 5'C's la...haha

THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU IS:

Yuin Yi

YOUR 5 IMPRESSIONS ABOUT HIM/HER:

1. small size
   
2. chubby
   
3. tan(not very dark)
   
4. serious in study
   
5. always tak jadi yamcha =.=
   

THE MOST MEMORABLE THING HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:

No idea worrr...

THE MOST MEMORABLE WORDS HE/SHE EVER SAID:

We seems like bro/sis because we share the same initial ( LYY )...haha..

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR LOVER, YOU WILL:

If it happens only think la*...XD

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY, YOU WILL:

I'll make sure her name has different initial than mine!! =p

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY, THE REASON WILL BE:

Ermmm...bcoz she copied me again???haha...

PASS THIS TO 10 PEOPLE YOU WISH TO KNOW HOW THEY THINK ABOUT YOU:

1. Karen
2. Tsu Chong
3. Jin Ming
4. Yuin Yi (ha!kenakan u back)
5. Tasya
6. Elaine
7. Jade
8. Jia Ling
9. Vivien
10. No idea who to tagged edi....


Okay i'm done yuin yi...i'm not lazy this time...haha....
dahla i malas to type here....yet u tagged me...zzz..

Sorry about this post, i went sot edi....hahaha....
don't even know what i'm trying to write....

Well...probably i'm never good in words, but at least it gets off my shoulder this time =D

Hmmm, well to you, i might be nothing,
but you already meant a million words to me,
I love you since i met you,
But i wouldn't allow myself to truely feel it until today,
I was always thinking ahead,
Making decisions with full of fears
Today, because of you, what i'd learnt from you,
Every choice i'd made was different and my life has completely changed,
and I've learnt that if you'd do that, you'll live your life fully,
It doesnt matter if you have 5 minutes or 50 years,
If it's not for today, not for you,
I might still be dragging myself in a zombie world and not knowing that i'm in love with you

I might be nothing to you, and maybe i shall leave it as it is...
or should i wait?
haizzz...would you even care to tell me what you feel even it may sound as hurting as it is??
Well, something tells me that i'll be alright even it does *winks*

RIP Grandpa

Hmmm...what should i say....sorry wen,xin,hc,weiyi,angie and zl....i can't join u guys anymore when u guys are in malacca...my grandpa had just pass away at 11.50pm yesterday....i guess i'll be bz these few days and i'm not attending my classes next week....

Grandpa....Rest In Peace....

Thanks Wen!!

THANK YOU WEN FOR TEMAN-ING ME FOR ALMOST 2 HOURS, WAITING FOR MY FRENS TO PICK ME UP IN NILAI =D

IT'S SO SWEET OF YOU TO COME AND PICK ME UP AND DROVE ME AROUND*winks*

SEE YOU REAL SOON IN MALACCA THIS COMING THURSDAY!!!

The Garden(boring)

Last fri, i went up to KL midvalley to meet up with some friends since there was no class =D..so i met up with wen in kajang ktm at 12pm and we go all the way to pudu to get the bus ticket 1st..I don't wanna end up in KL at the end of the day. Then from there, we get back to midvalley =.=(transit so many times)..Meanwhile, xin is already in midvalley waiting for us...She kept rushing us and complained hungry(It's not our fault eh when the train doesn't comes..haha)..owhh, Angie couldn't make it because she had to go to the bank for some reason ended up she couldnt join us last min..That explains why Xin was alone...kesian...haha...by the time we reach midvalley..it's almost 2 smtg..and xin had gastric because of us..(sorry)

So after our lunch, we went to The Garden which is opposite of midvalley(new shopping mall??but boring place, nothing to describe)=.=

After walking for 20-30 min..that's it..we walked back to midvalley and went jalan-jalan since there're no nice shows to watch, nothing much to buy...aiyooo, felt that it's so boring in midvalley(probably go till sien edi)..haha..What to do??still got so much time before my bus(7pm, but that time was 4.45)..So, we headed to MCD, sit down, chit chat..zzz (until 5.45pm).Okay chiaoz back to pudu..Wen wants to go n meet Angie in ampang, so we left there together and cramped in the ktm like sardine(always like that after working hours)..

Reached malacca around 9.10pm..got back home, bath, went n meet another group of frens in Wings cafe from 10smtg till 1smtg morning..We wanted to go for satay celup, but capitol closed, ong kim wee closed..so no choice..went KOTA and yamcha till 2smtg then go back...zZz...

Present campus life

Owhh, sorry for not updating this blog for a long time(AGAIN). Darn, blame my laziness. Haha..Well, practically i'm in the 7th week of my semester(halfway :D), and i'm much much much more free than the first few weeks(yippee for me). But of course i can't possibly sit down here...and wait for the sky to drop. I just can't lay my butt sitting still!!I just can't!!!.HAHAHA!!That is why YEN YI is always busy..even there's nothing for him to do, he'll make sure he find some stuffs to get busy with.... =.=

This time, 2 of my frens are establishing 2 new clubs in campus, IET and omega LEO. Well they made me part of their organizing team and also the committee member(ha!!see what i've just told you..stuffs to do!!). Lots of things to be done, meetings after meetings just to get some stuffs right, but it was fun though.

Well i just hope this thing gets kau tim real soon. No point if we keep dragging and dragging. Hmmm, but i believed the club should be well setup by end of this month with so many manpowers in the committee board. Cheers IETUNMC!!

Where the Hell is This

Wahhh...can anybody tell me where is this??

Happy Birthday Wei Yi!! (7/10)

Wuuu...another week has past...hmmmm..sorry for not updating it la Tasya..i've been busy doing my lab report and also assignments..a lot u know...kesian me a bit la..i know u've been enjoying ur holidays...but i dont have any!!=p..

Hmmm...but say ny la bz bz...yet i manage to go n celebrate wei yi's birthday last sun at 1U..yeap...Xin told me in the middle of the nite asking whether if i'm free to join them...well, i wasn't finish with all my work...but i think it'll be nice to join them...dun wanna stress myself tat hard...wakaka...Anyway, this time no more Greenbox edi la jialing...this time Neway...bluekss..jealous o not..u got no time for all these rite..i know de...go Penang la..haha..at last also tak jadi...kelian~~

I'm sorry Wei Yi for posting up this late...but at least i manage to write this b4 i continue with my next assignment =D...


Wen n Hock Chai


No, we're not cute..but adorable..wakaka



Our birthday boy enjoyed singing


Wei Yi n me

Xin n Wei Yi


dun understand why HC likes to play the mic like what chinphang did(previous blog)haha..


zZz, they r ss-ing when we're singing.. Hahaa(especially Wen)




I guess we really did enjoyed ourselves

Happy Birthday Wei Yi!Just don't forget us when you leave Malaysia...

OH NO!!so ai mei!!haha...



yea..try thinking that way..he's trying to..blow*ahem*

n now he's offering me...wakakaa~~

Green Box!!

I'm back in Uni for 2 weeks already...yeapp~~i'm enjoying my everyday with frens, seeing new faces but i don't know everyone..practically the class is getting bigger..and i dun think i can know all of 'em...=D..

But what i dun like is...ASSIGNMENTS, REPORTS..etc..zzz..
Last week i had an assignment...asking us to research about this industry stuff which i dun really know wat it is...and the title was about "purification of hydrogen"..zzz.what a topic..it seems easy...but with some criteria attached to it...it's different + it's only 1 week due to date..and this is not lab report...it is "technical report"..wat the heck...What's the difference?I dun even know how it looks like...everything is just new to me...zzz..n i was so panicked doing this...the day b4 submission..i slept at 5am(though i'm used to it, but not so rajin for this kuaa)LOL..and woke up at 8am..this is not all..I slept at 5 not because i managed to finish it...but i was too bloody tired...hahaa..luckily my class ends at 12pm..and we could hand in the report before 4.30pm..So, it isnt a prob for us to hand in...

After cracking our brain for the whole week..It's party time!!We went to Green Box in Jusco,Cheras...for karaoke and buffet dinner(almost exploded)...and we really enjoyed ourselves...from 6pm-1.30am..Okay, tat's 7 hours plus(crazy..)..I guess we had nothing better to do after finishing up our 1st assignment...=p



Had to scream to sing due to sore throat after 7 hours of singing(wakaka)



More pics later...

Juwita Suwito - Why Oh Why

The moment I can't pretend
The sorry I should have said
The thought of you being in despair
Tears my heart up right away
I just wasn’t prepared

Imperfection that’s what I am
Confusion just to get sad
I guess that I shouldn’t pretend to love you anyway
I won’t give up again

So tell me why oh why
Should there be a reason to love
Why oh why
I don’t need another
I want nothing else but being with you
And with you I know why

The one thing I’ll take with me
The eyes that smile so tenderly
Every time I think about you
You may carry things seem right
You make wishes come true

So tell me why oh why
Should there be a reason to love
Why oh why
I don’t need another
I want nothing else but being with you
And with you I know why

If only I knew what you need was some love
I would have given you the best that you deserve
There’s no one else I’d rather share my life than with you
Think of what’s between us
And love will help to guide us

Why oh why
Should there be a reason to love
Why oh why
I don’t need another
I want nothing else but being with you
And with you I know why

You Are Not Alone
by Michael Jackson


1. Another day has gone, I'm still all alone
How could this be? You're not here with me
You never said good-bye, someone tell me why
Did you have to go, and leave my world so cold?

Chorus
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away?
Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

All alone, why, oh...


2. Just the other night, I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come, and hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand, then forever can begin

CHORUS*


3. Oh...whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
Fly...and girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

CHORUS*

Not alone
You are not alone, you are not alone...

You just reach for me baby
In the morning in the evening
You're not alone, not alone
You and me, not alone, oh, together, together...

Shall never Forget This =D

Awww~~I felt as if it was just yesterday...and i believe time flies fast..For the past 5 years, I had been meeting with new people in my life and I definitely did not forget you :)

You still have that sweet smile on you, still that blur at times =D, still that farnie + cute...

And i guess this was our very first date together..haha..our very first window shopping, dinner, movie, and probably spent the best time together..awww~~ we gossip + joke all the way..our conversation just never ends..and we just couldn't stop ourselves from laughing eventhough it's not farnie when we were in the cinema..swt~~You just won't stop LAUGHING in the car too, will you?Hmmm..all i could say is its just fun spending these 6 hours with you..

Sorry for bullying you at times though I'm gonna admit that i don't know you well before this, please don't blame me..but at least this meet up had brought us closer rite??

Lastly, I'm sorry for not taking a pic with you..I guess you're right..still shy at times..bluek..Perhaps, if there's a next time, I promise you there will be one =) Just wanna say thanks for spending a wonderful nite with me...and thanks for the souvenir all the way from America..cheers =D..Wish you all the best there...

.......

Sorry for the late post..was kinda packed with some stuffs last few days =D

okay, let's continue with...

Day 3
Hmmm..still in Ampang, we woke up at 10 smtg morning?then we took our sweet time n bath all that till almost 12...then we go for Ampang's specialty...YONG TAU FOO!!!fuhhh~~dunno how long edi since i last ate this AMPANG YONG TAU FOO...Yup~~the last time was 6 years back..haha..and it still taste so good...Thanks Sid for belanja us that meal..it's definitely so nice...=D

After finish makan, we head down to Semenyih again to pass our key to our sir, and our next stop, RAWANG!!!ohhh yes!!we reach Rawang around 7 smtg...

Though this place is some sort like cowboy town, nothing much, but there's certainly lots of nice food there...Wee~~Makan Makan Makan...muahahaa!!This time Chin Phang belanja us makan at a restaurant..fuhhh~~gila weiii..we only think of makan ny...

After makan, we go jalan-jalan around the town, n we stopped by a cybercafe...Somehow this CC is cool, everything is new, 19 inch flat screen Samsung monitor, logitech mouse n keyboard...n the graphic of every game is cool...N guess what, this cybercafe had this promotion as this CC is still new...They need to attract all those kaki Gamers to their CC...so they had this promotion like, be a permenant member of theirs, n they entitled u 8 hours of free gaming...WAAAA~~who cares, enrol free membership got 8 hours of gaming time..So we play play play until our stomache starts to drum like we nvr eat for a few weeks..haha..We only manage to use up 3 out of the 8 hours given..Nvm, we'll leave the 5 hours for some other day, WE WILL BE BACK...MUAHAHAHA!!!GO MAKAN GO MAKAN!!but it's already 12 smtg midnite..So we headed to the mamak stall nearby and went back ZZZZ....

Day 4
Woke up at 10am..Planned to go to the nearby town, Serendah, for lunch..
On the way there, we passed by a beautiful temple..Here's some pics of it..





This is only some of it, Lots of other pics are not with me yet...=D
After going there, we went n had our lunch in Serendah...So full till the 3 of us almost puke in the car, really gila for ordering so much of food everytime..It's like we're paying to torture our stomache...haha..

After makan, we went to kampung orang asli, we also went to the waterfall nearby there..So many family were there having picnic, n u can see lots of them playing in the water...=D


This is just a small waterfall..should see the later part of my ..*wink*..

Hmmm, after seeing the kids enjoyed so much, we wanted to jump into the pool too..but CP suggest us to go for a hike and the waterfall there is so much nicer than here...Woooo..Must Attempt this!!Let's go go go....

Suddenly, "GGRRRooongg"...OHHH NO!!it's going to rain...YERRRR..why la like this..Haihhh, we went back with no choice and felt disappointed T.T

Rest the whole afternoon doing nothing...What a waste of time... =.="
Until.......it's dinner time..went n makan with CP's family this time...ate Rawang's Bak Kut Teh..not bad not bad...but i prefer Malacca or Tanjung Sepat's wan..haha..

After finish makan, CP brought us to Gasoline Cafe in Kepong to yamcha..


My first impression on this cafe was like..WAAAAA!!!got leng luis...2ndly, very creative...the whole cafe is like as if you're in the middle of the road..with traffic lights, roundabouts, tunnels, stations...but all in miniature style..definitely creative!!and lastly, the service is special too...in the sense that u can asked them to play any songs u like..n if they dun have that song..they'll download on the spot n play the songs u mentioned...=D..ohhh ya!!there's a small button in every seated table room...if u wan to call for bill or waitress..all u need to do is press..they'll be here..n i was also surprised that when u pressed the button, they get their message on their watch..(hightech huh, maybe i jakun la, haha coz no such things in malacca cafe)...


Miniature tunnel

Had lots of fun there with Cp's fren..get to know few more frens there...n enjoyed some games we had there too..kesian CP..lost the game...and our bet was to go over the next table n say *hi to 3 gals + I love you*...muhahaa..i didnt lose =p..*LUCKY ME*..or else it's embarassing...

Day 5
As usual, woke up, makan, HIKING, cc, tido....
Ok, talk bout Hiking...hahaa..but i malas to type so much..maybe let u guys see some pics enuff la...

Yup, Bkt Kerinching!!near Templar's Park


Viewing upwards from bottom


Viewing downwards from top..


Sid n me


Cold Nohhh~~

So roughly it's like that larr..malas wanna blog so much...

Day 6
No breakfast for me, No lunch for me....OHH NO!!but that 2 enjoyed themselves...yerrrr...just bcoz i'm a vegetarian that day...doesnt mean u all can do this to me..!!NO!NO!NOOOOOO!!!

Traveled back from rawang to KL by KTM...then walk walk...wanted to go Petaling Street with them...but my bus ticket was 2.30pm..so i cant joined them..but headed back to malacca..

6 Days Trip is NICE

Okay, since i didnt blog for so long edi, this time i'm gonna blog VERY VERY long bout my trip with my frens..hahaa...n if u think it's boring...just leave...bluekss..it's gonna be hell long..

So this trip was to Ampang(Sid's hometown) n Rawang(Chinphang's hometown)Lol..Hmmm..actually our main motive is to fix our new home's houseline and streamyx in Semenyih but we take this opportunity to go around also since they had already came to malacca few months back..

Day 1(Wednesday)
Hmmmm..So i started my day to Kajang around 9am morning n took a bus, then KTM..n i reached there around 11.15am..Well i think i was early from my schedule, which i'm suppose to meet with my frens at 12pm there...but nvm...my sir picked me up..hahaa..so nice of him to come all the way from nottingham n picked me to semenyih...after tat we had some nice chit chat since we hadn't see each other for 2 months plus...After that we had lunch together with my 2 frens which arrived around 12.10pm..hmmm..so long edi nvr go Broga..PAN MEE PAN MEE!!!NICE!!haha...

Okay after that, we went to telekom here n there to do some stupid stuffs...THROUGH HALFWAY DONE..we felt sienzzz n didn't wan to care for it anymore BUT went STRAIGHT to Sid's house in Ampang...

Okay, the farnie part was...i was with chinphang in a car...and sid was in another car leading the way to ampang from kajang...n the farnie thing was..we didnt took cheras highway..but we went into some ulu places..and chinphang was wondering where in the hell he's bringing us...LOL..n he asked.."ehhh yen yi..u see KLCC o not"..lol..well if u're in KL area..for sure u can see KLCC..n all we saw was mountain n trees with winding roads..so farnie weii...Sid brought us through Ulu Langit larr if i'm not mistaken..haha..And from there, we went to the highest peak in KL for a stop to enjoy the view of KL city...muahaha...but under the HOT SUN??hahaa..Weird Sid, bring us at that time rather than late evening...

It's all bout laughter throughout the journey...we laugh like mad dogs!!

Minutes later after coming down from the mountain..cp n I comment that the house ahead us is big n nice...n guess wat..it's Sid's house...=.=''..(Aiyoo forget to take pic of it)..We didn't even know we're at Ampang already...LOL..Hmmm, practically we didn't do much that day but rest after that..then went for dinner at Steven's corner(not bad la that place, *the mutton is nice*)

Day 2(Thursday)
Woke up very early bcoz have to be someone's driver..swt le..Angie ask me to go to her house at 9am..bcoz we're suppose to meet xin n hc at 10 smtg..so b4 that, she needed my help to fetch her to Tesco Ampang to get her repaired hp..*ohh btw, she's staying very near to Sid only*. So i called her 9am sharp when i was right in front of her door n she was like, "HARRR u reached edi arr??u wait for me a while can??i havent bath"..swt..typical gals..hahaa..n she didnt even invite me into her house..until she finished bathing..she opened the door n asked me to play with her dogs =.= while she's dressing up..i guess she didnt invite me into her house earlier bcoz she looks messy..HAHAA..

Guess wat time we left her house??10.05am weii..if i knew..i should have sleep a bit longer.. T_T

So we go tesco ampang as she direct me the road..n tell u smtg..she's bad in giving directions..why??bcoz she's pointing left when she mentioned right..swt..so it seems like i became a dangerous driver with the signal left n right..haha..about 10.40 edi..xin called n asked where should we meet for breakfast..so we decided to go to Korean Village in ampang..Well we ordered 3 sets of main course, can't rmb the names..n we couldnt finish also..haha..AFTER EATING FOR SOME TIME..we remembered smtg...we bought the tickets for RUSH Hour 3(12.15pm) at times square..n we're really RUSHING for it =.=''..late for half n hour weiii this time...the whole route to there is jammed..The plans for the day is just not right!!haha..While driving there that time, I'd even received a very big n pleasure present...YERRR!!That ANGIE...haha..



See what i meant??T_T

Never before i get tortured so cialat..lallalaaa~~
After the movie, the gals went shopping, the guys went to book store...hahaa..Angie got herself a short pants, hc got some books as he's going back into his NS camp(kesian),perhaps he find it bored in the camp...Xin n me didn't get anything also..aisehh..then we went for starbucks..ntg special also..n went back around 6 smtg..

Dinner i joined sid n cp back...n guess wat..sid brought me to Korean village again..Yerrr..korean food all day long..but this time different restaurant..n the 3 of us order 3 sets also..but ended up costing the dinner for RM96...we got a shocked how come this time so expensive compared to the one i ate with another group of frens which is only RM55 smtg...as we look at the bill.. 3x Bak = RM15...wat the heck is Bak??i think it's the rice??

waaa!!1 bowl of rice = RM5??Enuff of korean food edi...haha..Moreover this time we finished everything yet hungry...so we stopped by at Old Town White Coffee for smtg..Ohh ya, Angie joined us again.. :)

Continue later...

You In Me

by Juwita Suwito

Everytime I look into Your eyes
There's a pleasant surprise awaiting me and amazing me
Somehow I realize I'm so tired of the lies they keep telling me
Telling me I should look down inside in myself to find something greater
When I know I can look at the bright sight and find the Creator

I just need to spend one moment with You
Somehow it's a brand new world I'm passing through
You lift me higher, You let me see
Over the walls that surrounded me
Don't need to prove myself, just need to show and tell
It's You in me

The other day a wolf in sheep in disguise
Told me goodness would buy a day or two for me in Paradise
I could never pay the price, not with a million lives

But it' d done for me
Why should I just depend on myself and pretend I'll find something greater
When I know I can look at the bright side and find the Creator

Knowing Nothing...

It's been 2 months since the last time we saw each other...Well, surprisingly looking at your blog..it shocked me when i saw something like "you've found someone"..

I'll be happy for you if you found someone whom you really like, and i'm sure he's better than me...

But, will I find out from you or just someone else?

Things Have Changed...

Well yesterday, i became 3 of my frens' listener..and i'm glad that i managed to help out a lil bit when they say "thank you yen yi!!you just made me realise something". Hmmm..was smiling away at first but out of a sudden, a feeling just **puff* in me..and i knew what came into me...it's that same old problems.Ishh!!and i feel so sad just like that..haihhh..I thought i managed to let go when i made that decision last month!!Why is this thing suddenly bugging me and it's torturing!!Well, that's it..I shall end this game..."checkmate"!!You're gone!!

Perhaps I know who were my true friends already...and i'm glad i have many of them...

FRIENDSHIP isn't about whom you have known LONGEST, who came FIRST or who cares the BEST!! BUT it's all about who came & NEVER left!


And i know you left me..we ain't friends..Perhaps i shall label you "FAKE"..as in you're too fake to be my fren..

**Things have changed...

Movies Freak

Blogging~It's been some time since I blog here. Part of it i'm just lazy, another part of it, there's ntg much to blog actually~~haha~.Hmmm..Malacca had a new cinema situated in Melaka Mall(which is so empty, only the cinema). I guess many have heard bout this, not GSC, not TGV, but MBO??ya, Malaysia Box Office..okay the minute i was there, it did gave me a good impression, because there were 7 cineplax(sounds big to me). Sadly to say, the biggest cineplax(cineplax 2 & 4)is smaller than our old GSC cineplax 3. Haha, well i'd been there 5 times already in a week..and i'd visited 4 cineplax already..

5 IN A WEEKKKK….????

YUP!!!
I had already watch;

1. Transformers(nice)
2. Hooked On You(lamest movie i've ever see)
3. Ghost Tunnel(not very scary, just okay)
4. Surf Up(just so so)
5. Die Hard 4.0(damn nice)

Well, practically this cinema is still new, perhaps the reason why each time i went, the cineplex wasn't full, not even half i think. Ohhh!!something very farnie happened when i watch Ghost Tunnel, the WHOLE CINEMA WAS EMPTY...ONLY 2 of US???WAAA..how creepy.(dahla ghost movie, it's worse when the whole cinema has only me and my fren)Eeewwww...

Okay, there's another show i've not mention, Harry Potter...watched already in Mahkota Parade, duhhh~~so disappointing..it's just not up to that expectation i guess..All my frens find it disappointing as well..but no choice, have to watch it or else i'm stuck with coming 2 episodes...

You're Still You

You're Still You
by Josh Groban

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I've idolized just you

I look up to everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all, you're still you

You walk past me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all, you're still you

I look up to everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
And I believe in you
Although you never asked me to
I will remember you and what life put you through
And in this cruel land
The only world I've found without hope
You're still you
After all, you're still you

记得我们的爱!!

天空不断下着无声的雪
而我只有思念
勉强能温暖黑夜
拥抱离我已经千山万水
每个男人都有
说不出的心碎

我还爱着一个人但愿
回到美好的从前
也许痛的感觉
证明了爱的深浅
不然为什么我还不撤退

记得爱所有幸福的片段
所以才一直忘记要离开
伸出手继续勇敢付出我的爱
原地不动的等待
就算风把我的头发吹乱

记得爱是我给过的答案
就不再考虑应该不应该
一滴泪落进无边无际的大海
至少我们都活得没有遗憾
只要记得爱就无所谓孤单

The Depression Me

In the evening, small shadows dance around,
On my way home, I pass through the roads,
That day with you and this kind of scenery
It was brought to me
A treasure for just two of us
The promise that binds my heart
is important even now
Someday may be i will meet you
and then it will be fullfilled that day
as long as i believe i'll be waiting

I wonder where you could be now,
That promise, i wonder if it's still in your heart,
The seasons have changed, but it doesn't change that time
I wish THAT it is you
Even if your face fades,
that promise is in my heart, even now,
It burns passionately within me
Where our hearts are tied together
As long as i believe i'll be waiting

If i should meet you, i want to ask that promise softly,
To return to the two of us from that day,
As long as i believe i'll be waiting.

为什么相爱的人不能够在一起

每当我在与你相起你的时候
不知道你在哪头
心里面有许多许的爱与愁
不知是否是永远的伤口
当你扔下我一个人说走就走
其实我也知道你很难受
只是这个世界把你我分两头
割断情思与占有
想起你我相爱的时候
想起只能在电话里头
我真的好伤悲好难受
不知道什么时候才是尽头
为什么相爱的人不能够在一起
偏偏换成了回忆
我带你的照片
找到海角天边
希望你会在出现
我就算忘记时间也忘记你
也忘不了我们有过的甜蜜

为什么相爱的人不能够在一起

I Can Recognise That Face

I still remember how we get to know each other..the day that i'll never want to forget...yup!!and in those days..you were always that cute and innoncent, always reaching out to ppl when anybody faced problems, always kind towards small kids and i know you just love them..it's rare and not many people could do what you did..

After knowing you for some time, i found out that deep inside you, you have lots of sorrows and problems that you can't solved, you have great disapppointments and stuffs...and Guess what, you amazed me bcoz you're not only a nice gal, but also a tough one..Well, Going through all these may be tough..but you need not change the way you treat others even though you know they are going to hurt you..you just have to be you..because it's you that makes the difference...we can find only one unique YOU..think of what you had done for yourself and your family, even your friends..many of them cherish what you did, some may not..But now, you chose to give up because of some that they don't appreciate what you have done??but how bout those who appreciates you?you rather disappoint your friends??

Promises are meant to be broken??okay..that's not the point..but i miss you everyday..it just like the old days where we got disappointed when we always couldn't make it to see each other..this feeling is still stuck in me..i couldn't even shake it off and you're asking me to leave..you know i won't because we had promised each other..or have you forgotten already?

Still remember this phrase;
"we may not be siblings by blood, but we are siblings by heart"
It was enough said to touched my heart..

Nowadays, there is a gap between us..but is that gap matters that much to you?and are you going to treat me this way because of this?hmmm..perhaps to you, it's the best thing for NOW..but it'll never do good to any of us if you are going to be like this for the rest of the time..why make your life more complicated than ever?why can't you let go your problems behind?well i may be here for you..but i know being here for you can never satisfy what you want..not even solved your problems...because that's human's attitude..we can never get satisfy with what we want..

Coming to the word 'satisfaction'..yeap..There was once I knew that "attachment brings suffering"..but why am i still falling in to this?I'm sure you know this too, it's our emotion that comes over our thoughts..and these emotions were somehow linked to many expectations n wantings between us..Even we knew this from the start, we still falling into it..maybe we weren't ready to control our thoughts than our emotions..maybe just not ready to go for this relationship..and I always believed that love won't hurts, if it hurts, it's not love...To me, there is only one reason that a couple gets into a relationship that is loving each other..and they always come up with many excuses when they asked for a breakup..

Trust me, even i know we could not get back to what we want..i'll never forget that i loved you..I don't wan to lose a friend..and i have the intention to keep you as my friend...I promise i'll still say "I love you" often because you reminded me that "people tend to forget" and "love won't fade unless it's you who want it to"..i shall remember this..

Just hope you'll take care yourself, and if you might just need me one day..you could still find me..because i AM ready for you here..just don't treat me as a stranger and i'll be happy for it..

I'll never forget that smile on your face..

More Dhamma Stories

okay..this may seems boring to you guys after posting a few dhamma stories here..but somehow, i find it nice because it always appears right in front of us and we are always trap in the same old circle..the cause of it?--our mind and wanting, the effects?--suffering..There are two types of suffering... Suffering that brings more suffering... and Suffering that brings an End of the suffering (Wisdom)!The Buddha only points the Way, we have to walk it by ourselves.

Three more stories by Achan Chah...
Fish Trap

If you see clearly the harm in the benefit of something, you won't have to wait for others to tell you about it. Consider the story of the fisherman who finds something in his fish trap. He knows something is in it because he can hear it flopping about inside. Thinking it's a fish; he reaches his hand into the trap, only to grab hold of a different kind of animal. He can't see it, so he's not sure what it is. It could be an eel, but it could also be a snake. If he throws it away, he may regret it, for if it turns out to be in eel, he'll have lost something nice for dinner. On the other hand, if he keeps on holding onto it and it turns out to be a snake, it may bite him. He's just not sure. But his desire is so strong that he holds on, just in case it's an eel. The minute he brings it out and sees that it's a snake, however, he doesn't hesitate to fling it away from himself. He doesn't have to wait for someone to call out, "Hey, it's a snake! Let go!" The site of the snake tells him what to do more clearly than words could ever do. Why? Because he sees the danger - snakes can bite and make you very sick or kill you. Who has to tell him about that? In the same way, if we practice until we see things as they are, we won't meddle with things that are harmful.


Snake

People want happiness, not suffering. But in fact happiness is just a refined form of suffering. Suffering itself is the coarse form. We can compare them to a snake. The snake's head is unhappiness. The snake's tail is happiness. The snake's head is really dangerous. It has the poisonous fangs. If we touch it, it'll bite right away. But never mind the head? Even if we go and hold onto the tail, it will turn around and bite us just the same, because both the head and tail belong to the one snake. Likewise happiness and unhappiness, pleasure and sadness, arise from the same snake: wanting. So when we're happy, the mind isn't really peaceful. For example, when we get the things we like, such as wealth, prestige, praise or happiness, we become pleased, but the mind remains uneasy for fear of losing them. That very fear isn't a peaceful state. Later we may really lose those things, then we truly suffer. So if we're not aware, even when happy, suffering is imminent. It's just like grabbing the snake's tail - if we don't let go, it'll bit. So be it the snake's conditions they're all just characteristics of the Wheel of Existence, of endless change.


Old Liar

Our habits try to deceive us over and over again, but if we remain aware of it, we will eventually be able to ignore them altogether. It's like having an old person come around and tell us the same old lies time after time. When we realize what he's up to, we won't believe him any longer. But it takes a long time before we realize it, because deception is always there.

The Trap of the Senses

If we see cleary, how actually sufferings come to us... we can see cleary also the cause of our sufferings... Expectations, hoping things to be the same, hoping things to become better...

But many times, things happened in the opposite way... When we get what we want, we are happy... If the opposite happened, we are sad...
We became the slave of our own emotions which dependent on the external things (people, fame, money etc)... these processes occur again and again .......It will never stop... and we will never find the True Happiness... We are trapped, we lost our freedom..

Can we stop this process? Can we free ourselves from this circle? Let's think deeply about this...

This article is written by Achan Chah

The Buddha talked about desire and the six things by which desire is gratified: sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch and mind-objects. Desire and lust for happiness, for suffering, for good, for evil and so on, pervade everything!

Sights... there isn't any sight that's quite the same as that of a woman. Isn't that so? Doesn't a really attractive woman make you want to look? One with a really attractive figure comes walking along, you can't help but stare! How about sounds? There's no sound that grips you more than that of a woman. It pierces your heart! Smell is the same; a woman's fragrance is the most alluring of all. There's no other smell that's quite the same. Taste -- even the taste of the most delicious food cannot compare with that of a woman. Touch is similar; when you caress a woman you are stunned, intoxicated and sent pinning all around.

There was once a famous master of magical spells from Taxila in ancient India. He taught his disciple all his knowledge of charms and incantations. When the disciple was well-versed and ready to fare on his own, he left with this final instruction from his teacher, "I have taught you all that I know of spells, incantations and protective verses. Creatures with sharp teeth, antlers or horns, and even big tusks, you have no need to fear. You will be guarded from all of these, I can guarantee that. However, there is only one thing that I cannot ensure protection against, and that is the charms of a woman. I can not help you here. There's no spell for protection against this one, you'll have to look after yourself."

Mental objects arise in the mind. They are born out of desire: desire for valuable possessions, desire to be rich, and just restless seeking after things in general. This type of greed isn't all that deep or strong, it isn't enough to make you faint or lose control. However, when sexual desire arises, you're thrown off balance and lose your control. You would even forget those raised and brought you up -- your own parents!

The Buddha taught that the objects of our senses are a trap -- a trap of Mara's. Mara should be understood as something which harms us. The trap is something which binds us, the same as a snare. It's a trap of Mara's, a hunter's snare, and the hunter is Mara.

If animals are caught in the hunter's trap, it's a sorrowful predicament. They are caught fast and held waiting for the owner of the trap. Have you ever snared birds? The snare springs and "boop" -- caught by the neck! A good strong string now holds it fast. Wherever the bird flies, it cannot escape. It flies here and flies there, but it's held tight waiting for the owner of the snare. When the hunter comes along, that's it -- the bird is struck with fear, there's no escape!

The trap of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch and mind-objects is the same. They catch us and bind us fast. If you attach to the senses, you're the same as a fish caught on a hook. When the fisherman comes, struggle all you want, but you can't get loose. Actually, you're not caught like a fish, it's more like a frog -- a frog gulps down the whole hook right to its guts, a fish just gets caught in its mouth.

Anyone attached to the senses is the same. Like a drunk whose liver is not yet destroyed -- he doesn't know when he has had enough. He continues to indulge and drink carelessly. He's caught and later suffers illness and pain.

A man comes walking along a road. He is very thirsty from his journey and is craving for a drink of water. The owner of the water says, "you can drink this water if you like; the color is good, the smell is good, the taste is good, but if you drink it you will become ill. I must tell you this beforehand, it'll make you sick enough to die or nearly die." The thirsty man does not listen. He's as thirsty as a person after an operation who has been denied water for seven days -- he's crying for water!

It's the same with a person thirsting after the senses. The Buddha taught that they are poisonous -- sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch and mind-objects are poison; they are a dangerous trap. But this man is thirsty and doesn't listen; because of his thirst he is in tears, crying, "Give me water, no matter how painful the consequences, let me drink!" So he dips out a bit and swallows it down finding it very tasty. He drinks his fill and gets so sick that he almost dies. He didn't listen because of his overpowering desire.

This is how it is for a person caught in the pleasures of the senses. He drinks in sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch and mind-objects -- they are all very delicious! So he drinks without stopping and there he remains, stuck fast until the day he dies.

Real Or Not

Circus??haha..when was the last time i visit circus???errr..standard 2?haha...okay..last fri,i was chatting with jin ming...the kuku fella...hhahaha...and he's famous for crapping...lol..and guess what...he asked me to teman him to circus??okay..i thought it's meant to be said ONLY..and he said he'll pick me up at 6smtg..so i didn't take his words for real..and u know what??he came at 6.30!!omg..and i was bathing at tat time..my mum told me a fren came and find me??i was like huh??who in the hell will find me at this time??so early??okay..i quickly change myself and ran out and i saw him..so i just went in the car..and i asked him...

"weii, really arrr??circus??or you wan to go jalan jalan ny"

he replied, "yala, u think i'm jk with you arr"
*he showed me the tickets*..

haha...okay...this time it's real...we reached the place at 7pm but the show starts at 8pm..so we went opposite to condinental and makan...i belanja him(since he's belanja-ing me for the ticket)lol...it's kinda weird 2 guys paktor-ing there...haha..

Okay, just before we enter, we think twice again and asked each other, "oi,really wan to enter ar",both of us laughing away...and all we could see are small kids and their parents??and two of us just feel it's weird..how come we dun see anyone who's around our age..lol

*deciding*...

and suddenly,"aiyah enter larr"..haha..and we entered..n guys..we really sat there for 2 n a half hours...OMG!!we finish the whole thing...okay, there were acrobats,stunt shows,clowns?,animals(the dog was just cute)....etc.

Later on, we planned to go to jonker for some cendol,and on the way, i met Denis Tan?coincidence...and we stopped by at Kota for a while to say hi to some of our frens..i'd even saw e-shynn,collin,christopher,crystal n another gal..duhh~(dunno who's tat)..errr..met derrick's group(the 10 of them,dota for sure,haha..usual routine for them), and lichia's gang..After meeting them, we went straight to jonker..jinming took 2 bowls of durian cendol and i only took 1..lol..he sure knows how to eat huh?and that cendol is just mmm~~..itchiban!!haha...we went jalan-jalan in jonker until 11 smtg..lol...the night is still young leyyy..but many stalls were closing edi..so we planned to go MCD at DP?lol..guess what, i think we got fate to meet more people??and we saw jeremy,kaiyang paktor with huan yin?(who told me they broke off edi),soonlye with kia ling,xin kun n his gang...but we didnt stay long and went back..okay, we met quite a lot of ppl in that 2 hours...seems like everyone is having their holidays now..n they're enjoying while they still could..not like ppl in taylors n sunway...no holiday for u??so sad..haha..no offend ya..

FuN fUn~~

Okay...For the past few days..i enjoyed myself with you guys..
Sat
- Went to school at 8am; met my friends(scouts)...
- Follow the bandmembers to camp
- Had fun playing with them
- Came back at 1pm to fetch my mum first
- Went to mp to meet yy and see ij band performance
- Back to campsite at 4pm and they were practising
- Had a great time swimming and water polo with them at 5pm-7pm
- BBq with these guys...and Mr.Lee went...
- joined the meeting with these guys till 12.30am??
- drove back from there...

Sun
- fetched desmond to bandcamp at around 10smtg
- went n had lunch at MCD nearby
- they had practices after that
- 5.30pm..COMPETITION!!became the referee with ah Tan for water polo:)
- went back around 6 smtg
- fetched denis tan this time at around 8.30pm
- denis became the judge for their sketch competition
- met lots of ex-members at that time...collin,christopher peng,lingling,see chen,..etc.
- went back around 12.30am again...

*tiring but fun*winkwink*

OH NO!!

Just another sms came and asked me if i'm free for this weekend to jonker at night...waaaa..i know you guys are having holidays already...don't larr everything comes in one day...can't you guys split the time properly for me??hahaha...jkjk...well..sorry ya chia lin..i can't go out with guys..i'd my plans already...no offend ya..perhaps next week i'll ask you, ah ber, jialing..etc. go yamcha or jonker la k...haha..

i miss you guys too...

Busy Weekend?

Hmmmm let's see...i'm suppose to meet up with some people...
1. go for bandcamp which is on sat to mon??
2. meet up with raelynn?not sure yet..
3. christine coming back asking me out on saturday also??with pey yein i guess...but not confirmed yet...so pretend not to know 1st..since u didnt confirmed with me the time...haha..(will see how it goes k)..
4. there's IJC band performing at 3pm, sat in mp also...
5. meeting up with david's gang on sat night for steamboat??
6. yingying's gang watching pirates of the carribean on sat afternoon

omg...how m i suppose to be there for so many ppl at the same time...hmmm...this is what i planned, ask david's gang for steamboat on fri if possible since he'll be back to KL on sun..if really can't..no choice..rush down from camp...although i'll be makan with tsu chong's gang in the afternoon at seoul garden on fri..nvm...eat another time steamboat on the same day then...hmmm..band camp...i'll still go...but how about ij band performing??...rare occasion...perhaps they have smtg different...going for sure...i'll rush down from ayer keroh to mp for the concert then rush back to camp also...Hmm..because of the performance...have to say sorry to yingying's gang who will be watching pirates...the time just dun match...and i'll ask some other frens to watch with me then...dun have to wait for me...raelynn...perhaps she got 2 weeks holiday...can yamcha with her some other days i guess...hmmm christine...sorry la eh??u only msg me without telling me the time..estimated in the afternoon ny...cant planned anything for u yet...but i'll try and find some slot for u n py...hehe...

Just hope there isn't anything else coming in my way this weekend...or else i'm going to bang my head against the wall...haha...see ya guys...it just feel great when you guys still remember me...hehe..cheers

Jokes!!

hmmm..for the past few days of my life...it can never seems to be better than tat!!i met great people around me...and met up with some old pals...haha..they're still the same...never change a bit...lol...jokers!!okay..tues..i went to school..hmmm...purpose of it??eat mee ta(still so nice), meet up with my seniors, and went n take my SPM cert...slownyaa~~while waiting for my seniors...i met pn goh bee peng...haizz..1st ques she asked me..why r u here...macam not welcome me ny...haha..but tat's how she talk...lol...and i said come n see u lorrr....she's laughing all the way..hmmm...same all pattern..like to tease teachers..kakaa...then i met mr. tay, mr. lee..hmmm...all never changed wan..maybe white hairs la...when my seniors were here..we ate mee ta and guess who we saw...bro mike...haha..3 of us were like trying to run away from him...so funny!!but we didnt get the chance..bro mike took his stacks of books...put it on our table..haha!!!great..no choice..had to sit with him...THERE ARE 3 THINGS BRO WILL NEVER CHANGE,

NUMBER 1: NEVER LIKE MATHS AND SCIENCE SUBJECTS
NUMBER 2: ALWAYS COMPLAINS AND GOT ANGRY WHEN HIS STUDENTS COME BACK TO VISIT ONLY MATHS AND SCIENCE TEACHERS, NOT HIM!!
NUMBER 3: THROW TABLES,BOOKS and SHOUTING AWAY IN CLASS UNTIL THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNOWS IT

Just about he's about to sit with us...the 1st thing my senior did was to tease him...and he said,

Fren 1:heii bro, still teaching english??

(and guess what he replied)

Bro M: ohh i can teach any subject you know(bragging)

Fren 1: ohh izzit, how about addmaths?"*there goes bro michael with his face*

haha...i almost got choke on the fishball..wat the heck..and guess what...our favourite pn goh chee peng so ngam passed by...and 1 of them tried to tempt him again!!

Fren 1: bro wait ar, i think i saw my favourite teacher pn goh!!*goshh, u should see his face!!frust!!*

Bro M: Fine, it's okay..i had edi said before your SPM, you guys only come back to see your maths n science teachers...blabla..(exactly the same old stuffs he likes to say in the class)

hahah...lol..my seniors are just too *sampat* and i was laughing all the way with these jokers around...

and lastly, bro mike's favourite act..throwing tables across the class...sounds odd horr..ya..he memang odd wan...where got brother like that wan??and just he;s about to walk away...he said...

Bro M: I'm off to class already..if you hear tables flying around and shouting away, you know where i am

Us:(SPEECHLESS)

okay..the 2nd victim of the day was another sir..cannot mention his name..haha..he's famous for tipu students wan..lol..i cant believe i said it here..haha...All our teachers who met us, said one of my senior slim down...but this sir actually said in front of us, "heii..u put on weight edi horrr...and u tone down a lot..."we were like...ohh great..he didnt change a bit also...and we asked sir whether if he's sure of him or not...or is it he's refering to someone else whom he might mistaken...and he said,

anonymous: yes i remember it's him, how can i forget him, i still remember how he look like..BUT I FORGOT HIS NAME.

what a joke!!..haha..

Us: sir you sure arr??many of the teachers said he slim down worr, tone down yes la..but where got put on weight?

*he just smiled*

we continue asking him...

Us: then sir, he became more handsome o not..(hoping he say yes so that we can tease our friend)but..

anonymous: *change topic*..

what the heck...trying to make a joke out of there...haha..but he actually changed topic...

okay after 10 min, he walked away, and goshh..we were laughing non-stop...my fren said...

fren 1: dia ni sikit pun tak ubah eh?masih so good in telling lies!!

haha...and we just found out he got masters..ooppss..from this tip, u guys can know who izzit edi...haha..

fren 2: ehh betul ar the fella got masters, beli punya or fake wan...haha...

Fren 1: that's why, dunno how he got it, I still remember what he taught us, that ahli dewan rakyat can become ahli dewan negara also...haha...teach us wrong stuff he pandai...

Fren 2: yala yen yi, last time in class, he always said how good is him, and said the way he teaches in class, is how the professor teaches in university, and he's always trying to action around with his file, i still remembered he said,"i come to class and teach with my file you know"..alahhh...like la very great..i also used files to put my notes when i study...hahaha..

YenYi:haha..really ar...omg...bring file also must action eh?

*as he can still be seen at our distance*

Fren1: ehh, he nvr use file edi worr..got papers only in his hand,..why?downgraded ar?..haha..

Us:"laughing away"

btw..they're not malay fellas...they're babas...but they like to translate these jokes in malay..maybe it sounds more funny i guess...haha...hmm..now i'm wondering why these jokers can still be that smart when they're are not only ordinary jokers, but mad jokers...one of them finished their STPM with 4.0 and another 3.8...and i always thought genius like these are always nerds...haha..the 1 finished his STPM with 4.0?..had always get straight As' since,UPSR,PMR n SPM...crazy!!

after that, we had tea with mr lee..and we just had some nice chit chat...and then few of my juniors just came and say hi to me as recess bell rang edi...and one of my junior told me that bandcamp is just this weekend...great..more plans...

hmmm that nite itself..i asked one of my juniors to yamcha with me...and we talked about wat's going to happen in bandcamp...and mainly just chit chat...

yesterday?okay..i woke up at 9 smtg...but went to sleep back...until 11..then i just online, played piano..and at 2pm..i went n played badminton with my seniors again...around 7 of us...n that 2 jokers were one of us...okay..we had a lot of nice time together...and we went back at around 4 smtg...guess i'll be seeing u guys again this weekend i suppose??hmmm..most probably in bandcamp?or maybe just tonite..yamcha..bluekss...

Forgiving myself first or you?

Trustworthy is the most valuable thing where you can't buy it with money...
The question comes when if you just lose someone's trust one day, and all you want is explaination,
will you shame that person on what he/she did to you?or are you going to keep quiet?
Well,i had tried the toughest part by keeping it to myself..and it didnt work out
Now..i just have to bear with what i did, and If i could forgive myself...
yes,i'm full of disappointment...i still want that trust..and i'll forgive you if you could just admit it just now..
i know it's not that simple..and it's not easy to say sorry neither..
This is what i meant when sorry meant a lot...
Just like when i first lied to you...i was so sorry...and all i could do is to ask forgiveness from you..even i have to say a thousand sorry...but since then, you didnt trust me anymore...
How bout you??you didn't even have the courage to apologise..so why blame me when you did more than me?
Everyone has a choice, includes u, and people made the best out of it..
Even the sandman in Spiderman 3 apologise when he killed his uncle,
He tried and hunt down that person who did so, and even killed the wrong guy,
In the end, Spiderman forgives him after he heard his explaination...
so why can't you?you rather hurt me with your words??
are you going to make the same mistake as him?
when he's uncle tried to stop sandman and said
"why dont you just put down the gun and go back"
Sandman can have the car that he want to escape, but there's no need for him to kill spiderman's uncle
he did gave him a chance to undo his bad deed
but he didnt use it properly and shot him...

Well, I just hope you learn this and it is practically important next time for you,
It's from me and your beloved friends..
Think twice before you make a decision,
Think wise before something happen.

HAizz...If you could just say sorry one day...

Gang-gang

haha..well...it's been a long time since i spend my time with my f3 gang consist of david,thye wey n aaron....still rmb how we used to cycle in ujong pasir...haha..the mad bicycle gang..lol..well today at last we get to meet each other...normally either 1 of us will be bz and can't make it...but today david msg me tat he's back in malacca...the minute i heard tat...i replied him and yamcha...and he agreed..so i called thyewey..but dunno wat was he doing...with his gf i guess...nvr pick up my phone...so i called aaron n he agreed to meet up too..so i asked aaron to contact thye wey instead...hmmm..around 7pm just now...we confirmed the venue and time...we planned to meet at KOTA at 9pm...but still...david came late...n it's not 5-10 min late..almost an hour..what the...haha...but nvm...the night is always young...we talk non-stop and laugh as if nobody's there...what the heck...somehow it's nice to meet u guyss again..hmmm..we wanted to stay longer...but too bad our cinderella aaron have to be back b4 12..haha..or else the mum will start nagging...n guess wat...b4 12...around 11.30..his mum already start calling...lol..so we start planning again when is our next gathering...hmmmm...as the 3 of them is having exams...aaron n thye wey will be finishing coming week..but david..pheewww...long way to go smr huh??nvm lar..A levels...wat u expect...enjoy arr...lol...but david agree he will come back next week for us...n aaron suggested to go for steamboat at malim...steamboat again??the last week i had it twice already in seremban 2...just opposite jusco..the 1st time went with my sir, yinleng and another guy from inti..his name is calvin..2nd time..i went with chinphang,kianvi,sid and boon hang...lol..and guess who i met?one of the sfi fella...matthew..with his gang from nilai college i think...n 2 of his so called kai-mui..came to me and say hi..i'm matthew's eldest sis and another wan say i'm his younger sis...i'm totally stunned...wat the heck...then matthew say dun care themm...lol...but they're sporting i guess...dun be so mean..hehe...u should feel u got the honour to have these 2 gals as ur sis...haha...okay...back to the topic..errr...so we agreed to it for steamboat next week...well..this kind of stuffs..is always subject to change...dun put too much hope on it..or else disappointment will turn up...haha...but i really hope to meet u guys again lorrr...felt so great to have u guys in my life and we're still the same...crapping all the way and laugh as if nobody's business..hahaha...okay..it's 1.22am..n i think it's time for me to sleep soon...cheers..:)

Hmm..it's been quite a while since i last blog here..well..i'd just finish my finals yesterday...n god.i'm so happy with it...but,it didnt last for a day..not even when i think of my summer break(3months+)..well, i miss her actually..i tried to find her..but somehow she's not there anymore,we even ended up quarreling over some stupid stuffs..haizz..is it tat difficult for me to talk to her nowadays??watever i do or say,she'll put a conclusion to i'm over-reacting..y m i always hurt by your words,i'm not somebody who got ntg to do and find you, u know?i called because i miss you, i just wan to hear your voice,i wouldn't be tat free to tell u nonsense if i think tat's not important u know, i care..i care a lot..i just want you to protect urself..even i did say wrongly the day before, i apologise and i did say u can keep if you like it, but you were the one who said you'll did that for me..and so..why are you blaming me that i'm over-reacting towards it?i didnt say u cant keep it rite..i just thought u will do wat u said..but suddenly u just pop those words out of my hp screen...why wouldnt i be angry?i never thought of controlling u, NEVER had that intention..but but...haizz..

Well, somehow i feel you are trying to search something you have lost and you trying your best not to hurt anyone..like what you said in your blog, there are some answers were left unanswered and there are certain stuffs that u've never dared to touch, where all ur sorrow and pain came from over the years...it really caught my attention when you wrote this..i feel so sad..and it seems like i still need to know u better..there are lots more stuffs that i didnt know about u...But each time i tried to get closer...u'll just push me away...and i've been searching through the dark for traces of love that you left inside my heart...i've seen so many sweet memories that everytime i think over it,I feel like reaching my hp to call you..but each time i want to do so..i'll stopped and put it down..i'm scared to call you..knowing that we'll hurt each other again with words..i only want you to be there again like u used to be when i feel like hearing your voice...I miss you..and i want to be there for you when you need me..will u let me know what you are facing?i'll figure out something if i can...just dun be so unfair to me..dun drive me off anymore please..it hurts me..really..it's just too heartbroken...

The Four Sublime States (Cattaro Brahmavihara)

If of the same status, bear metta (loving kindness) in your mind.
Where there is no metta, there may be competition in your mind.

If of inferior status, bear karuna (compassion) in your mind.
Where there is no karuna, there may be desirous of ill-treatment in your mind.

If of superior status, keep along mudita (sympathetic joy or rejoicing at others' happiness and prosperity) in your mind.
Where there is no mudita, there may be jealousy in your mind.

If not possible to save others, keep along upekkha (equanimity) in your mind.
Where there is no upekkha, there may be sorrow in your mind.

Keeping these sublime states in mind, will all beings be happy

The past Few Days

1st of May
Hmmm..woke up very early on the day itself...went to temple with sir again...and guess what...we met jade yenn and christine there...there i go introducing them to my sir again...kaka...then after tat we went in n pray...then following we did Pindata(if i never spell wrongly)..errr it's the food offering session to the monks...then after tat we went makan breakfast...went mp and dataran..did some shopping...then went home n rest...wanted to watch spiderman tat day...and pheww...the queue is damn long...so we didnt manage to buy the ticket...so we went shopping around again n we had lunch at my grandma house again...kesian him have to become vegetarian as me for that day...haha...then we rest for a while...while resting..i played some song for him...ahem..he got the honour to hear me playing man..jkjk...haha...then we went to the beach n i brought him to portuguese settlement...okay...we saw a lot of tore down roofs...i guess it was the tiny tornado...hehe...then at nite..i brought him to friend's cafe..and i met epin and zheng ling...waaa just a couple of months nvr see zhengling...she became very pretty edi...n she even told me she got bf edi...wat a shock...haha..there we goes..sitting down..enjoying our cups of coffee...then i wanted to bring him for supper...curry chicken rice...haizz..so sad...everything sold finish edi..so early finish dy??hmmm...no luck i guess....so we went back home straight n sleep..haha...

2nd of May
ntg much happen on today..my sir went back to semenyih edi..as he is not feeling well..hmm..maybe i didnt entertain him well kua..haha..tats y he feel so sick...err..then i got li chia to teman me to send him to the tol...then fetch her back...after tat..wanted to ask yy since she is the 1 suggested to watch movie tat day but i say i cant...n when i can..she say she cant..goshhh...i so sien...haha...went back online...n took a nap...at nite??the same old thing again online...how boring...

3rd of May..
okay..i planned to study...but it didnt work out...i got up at 1pm instead...haha..then was checking my mails n stuffs..n tat li chia sudd say she got no class edi...heading back...then i asked her to stop by my house as i got smtg to ask her...*confidential*...then she took 1 whole file of my songs back...it took me so long to dwld the whole file and u took it in 1 hour?...so not fair..then i went n study for a while..had dinner at my grandma's place...came home study again...then bigkiat say wanted to ask me out for yamcha...then i asked her to ask bearbear to tag along..hmm...then no sign of them edi...so i guess it was cancel...so i online instead....there goes chatting n chatting..

4th of May..
woke up very early...went n had MCD breakfast with lichia again..haizzz..see her 3 days in a row..well luckily got her..if not i will be bored to death...well bcoz of the RM4 MCD breakfast we went..but we went there we didnt buy tat set..sampat..then wanted to queue up for the spiderman as i dun wan to buy on saturday..knowing there will be a lot of ppl on saturday..so i went there to queue...n it was only 11.30am..guess what..the queue is as long as the day i went with my sir...my god...so we walk off there...n went to IJC as she wants to take the concert tickets from her junior...meanwhile i asked her to find my sis..so tat i could ask my sis to buy for me the tickets...haha.(since she's watching anyway with her frens tat day)..then while waiting for tat tortoise to come out...i was in the car like half n hour??n luckily she dropped her laptop for me...haha...omg..i saw a lot of pics n clips inside...thank u for making my day better..i laugh till i dropped...then she fetched me back..n asked me to help her with her website...HELP u know..in the end..i'm the 1 DOING for her...stupid tortoise..only know how to drink her 100PLUS there n shake her leg..while sms-ing smr...ishhh...after she went back..i wanted to study but i was too tired...lol...took a nap...then start studying from 11-2..rajin sialzz....

Today...
woke up at 10..NO CAR!!.omg..i'm suppose to meet ying ying at 12pm..no choice but to ask her to fetch me...haha...thank u yy...errr we went n had burger king...then watched 1.30spider man till around 4?then we headed to asian havana cafe...hmmm..had a nice chat...talk about a lot of stuffs...got lots of secrets...haha..then around 5.30..went back...go n find vanessa..but she havent reach home when i'm edi there..so her mum invited me in..we talked quite a lot...till she reached home..then took my hp cover...and thanks for giving it to me for free..well..when i reach home..nap again..(these few days keep on take nap..dunno why so tired)..hmmm..after half n hour wake up...bcoz of somebody who msges me for no reason just to tell me tat she got blue black...babi betul...haha...then a while more...i receive sms from someone..."things further on are not meant to be tell"...

Wesak Day Procession

oooo...last mon..i had my IT exam...haha..communication technology(this time i nvr read wrongly..bluek)..n it was okay i think(i seriously dunno how i did)..errr..n after the exam...i was rushing back to pack my stuffs..n my sir(Mr. Yeoh)..came to Malacca with me for the procession nite...n also the chanting session...hmmm..it was a great day...so we started the jouney around 1pm back to malacca afraid there will be jammed along the highway...i guess we were lucky to leave early..n we reached malacca around 3 smtg..ohh and he stayed with me of course in malacca...so we just rest a while...and we talked a lot...then after that went to my grandma place...had some light dinner before the procession..okay...so i receive a msg from my fren saying the chanting session is 6.30..so we went there around 6...and fuuu...so many ppl is already there...well the session is a bit out of schedule...it started at 6.45...n the procession starts around 7.15...hmmm...i saw a lot of my frens there...let me recall....when i went in SKE(Seck Kia Eenh)...the 1st person i met was my very far cousin..yingying..with her frens..so we just say hi to each other...then introduce her to my sir..kakaa...then after tat i saw a few more cousins in there also...and i got a call from my bestie fren...jin wen..saying that he's behind me...and i didnt saw him...sowiee larr..dun always say i action ma..so many ppl there...expect me to see you merr...haha..then i called tee hai...n asked him where will the chanting be..so we went in n pay respect...and after that i saw more of my frens..i saw poh geok, denis tan and a few more...then ny i realise i suppose to find ee fen...so i called her...n ask her where is she...haha..she was late...then i saw my band members...mr chong, lingling...etc..hehee..When the procession starts...me, fen n my sir starts to jalan..and we were wondering who will we meet over there...great..fen was so disappointed cause she couldnt find any of her frens but me??haha..i kept waving my hands with my frens...LOL..she ask me to stop waving la..she so sad she couldnt find any of her frens...bluekss...ohhh i saw ms lim(sfi teacher)..donovan(my uni fella=so unexpected to see him there)..then i saw my longlost cousin..calvin chow with his bro, after tat i saw han sern, kathy, amy, wendy, yong xiang, yong qiang, ca wei, yuen shun, cin you, err 1 of my leo club member(haha forgotten her name), derrick, Mr. Lee, desmond, jin guan,kenny,..etc..actually i'm surprise to see so many lost contact faces there...haha..so happy to see them...wanted to have more time to talk to them...but too bad..tak de chance...nvm..i'm sure we will meet again some day...so after finish the whole procession...we were quite hungry...so i brought my sir to amote and had ICE...yy n fen did ask me whether if i wan to join them for supper when we were already at Amote..too bad..i didnt saw the msg and realise they sent a msg when i'm edi at hoome..haha..sowiee...next time larr k....hmmm...was having a lot of nice time with you guys larrr...Happy Wesak Day everyone..

No Sorry Needed

Sorry seems to be the most difficult word to say out
When did we really mean it before?
Why are we using it and so sensitive towards this word?
A very big realisation comes to me today that why do we say sorry when we never mean it before?
Do we really understand the word sorry?
Guyss..It's not a simple word...It has a lot of meaning behind this word..
Even complicated than anything...

So what do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?

Haizz..even myself don't know..these few days i'd been acting very mean...I knew myself and It was done purposely, just like how it was when you really had no choice...somehow i just feel like letting go, but it don't seems to happen...the possessiveness is so strong..i really can't tell how to let go..

I'd never blame you..I really never ask any sorry from you..I don't need a sorry for now..because it's not you..it's me...I'm sorry, I'm hurt, I'm disappointed with myself, not you..Will you forgive me one day?I am very angry with myself actually...you won't understand what i am feeling now..even myself i can't figure out what's happening to me...I just hope you will forgive me one day if i am mean to you...i am forced to..i just want you to have your life your way..I want you to stick to the way you are as if i never exist before..I'm just nobody who don't worth anything from you...haizz...just why would you still wan to stick with me when i always hurt you woee?Stop being stupid k..i'd never do anything to make you happy before...but he did..he's always been nice to you...always better than me...i only know how to make you sad loeee...i just want you to cherish him again...moreover,he's always been the same...he didn't change..he still cares for you...somehow he just don't want you to know anymore that he cares...

A very good saying:

Everything is okay in the end;
If it is not okay, then it's not the end

Both of you haven't come to the end k..

Examsss....

hmmm okay...for the past few days i didn't came and online because i was bz studying..and guess what...i studied the wrong subject..goshhh...how in the hell it happen..i dunno...but it takes me 2 days to study for the sub..and i studied wrongly...it suppose to be Digital media, but i studied communication technology which it suppose to be on coming mon...not wed...bluekss...and i only found out this on the morning itself at 9am..my exam was 2pm..i was rushing studying in the car traveling back to my campus...haha..errr today i just had my chemistry test and also english...at last...no more english for me after i hand up the last report which i need to write 1500 words...(boring..)haha...good..i wont have to write such essays anymore...was suffering the whole 3 sem with that english...errr chemistry was not okay also..out of 12 marks..i only manage to get 6.5...(fast huh to get back my result)hmmm...i really need to do smtg with it..the finals for chemistry is on the 9th of May...for following mon..it's communication technology again...ohh nvm..i studied before already since i studied the wrong sub b4 that...i better score well or else i'm going to be very keksim with it...okay..after that paper...i will be going back straight to my hometown..and my chemistry sir wanna tag along and enjoy for a few days..wee~~!!will be bringing him to the wesak procession...then show him around malacca...also bring him go n makan nice foods..kakaa.a...must fatten him up...he's kinda hansum too...purposely dun wan to spell it correctly...maybe introduce to those gal friend's of mine who always wanted to see him when i mention him to them before...bluekss...this is ur chance...haha

Love is All About You(continued)

Love is giving worth to yourself.

You were born with an abundance of talents & abilities.
The world can sometimes create conditions that make you forget what they are!
Tell yourself that you are beautiful, talented, unique, capable and skilful.
When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it.

Love is receiving with joy what is entitled to you.

To receive joyfully is a blessing.
When you accept something with love and joy,
You are telling yourself,
“I am worth it, I deserve this.”
This is self-love of the highest level.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve,
You get even less than you settled for.

If you have the eyes of love, you just see the love wherever you go.
(to be continue..)

Love is All About You

Love is accepting yourself for who you are and who you are not.

Accept your strength and weaknesses.
Accept your good and bad habits.
Accept yourself, warts and all.
Acknowledgement and acceptance is the first step towards changing negative behaviour.
In this whole entire universe, we can find only one unique YOU!

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Love is giving up self-pretense and simply be who you are.

Wearing a mask all the time is tiring and suffocating.
It also means you don’t trust or allowed the world to know you as you are.
Give up that mask and be the radiant, beautiful and kind person that you were born to be.

Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness.
The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.
(to be continue...)

I Shouldn't Have Come Into The Picture

Haizz..another problem arises after one another,..was having hard time studying...n just before she offline..her mood had changed...n she said she get it now...i'm puzzled..Well just before i offline..i checked my email..n goshh..i wish i didn't see that..sometimes i really feel you are stupid when you still have her...you hurt her..again n again..and so i called..."sorry to hear that you're crying"...and it's ok that she put down the phone...I'm sorry..but i really can't help her anymore...I shouldn't have come into the picture and be another burden for her...It's already so obvious that she didn't forget him..and she still loves him...as much as last time...and she did say no she don't love him anymore...actually...you're just avoiding...u say u dun love him bcoz he hurts you so much...and i really shouldn;t have come into the picture and makes things worse...Suddenly i see the picture so clearly that I'm the 3rd Party...I should have trust myself and shouldnt love her in the 1st place...I should only do my part as a kor...not more than that...like what i do for the 1st 3 years...haizz..even one day you find me...i understand that you didnt forget him...and even we are together...we won't be happy also...no matter what....i just want to say i'm leaving you...for good...i just dont wan to be a burden for you 2...its me who caused the 1st arguement between you two..i caused you to be so sad...it's me..i'm really a failure kor..i always thought i manage to do my part n take care of you...but no..i realise i'm just useless like what i always say to you..i've hurt you...sorry for everything...now i understand why you wanted to let go so many things...i really really do now...sorry for hurting you...