FuN fUn~~

Okay...For the past few days..i enjoyed myself with you guys..
Sat
- Went to school at 8am; met my friends(scouts)...
- Follow the bandmembers to camp
- Had fun playing with them
- Came back at 1pm to fetch my mum first
- Went to mp to meet yy and see ij band performance
- Back to campsite at 4pm and they were practising
- Had a great time swimming and water polo with them at 5pm-7pm
- BBq with these guys...and Mr.Lee went...
- joined the meeting with these guys till 12.30am??
- drove back from there...

Sun
- fetched desmond to bandcamp at around 10smtg
- went n had lunch at MCD nearby
- they had practices after that
- 5.30pm..COMPETITION!!became the referee with ah Tan for water polo:)
- went back around 6 smtg
- fetched denis tan this time at around 8.30pm
- denis became the judge for their sketch competition
- met lots of ex-members at that time...collin,christopher peng,lingling,see chen,..etc.
- went back around 12.30am again...

*tiring but fun*winkwink*

OH NO!!

Just another sms came and asked me if i'm free for this weekend to jonker at night...waaaa..i know you guys are having holidays already...don't larr everything comes in one day...can't you guys split the time properly for me??hahaha...jkjk...well..sorry ya chia lin..i can't go out with guys..i'd my plans already...no offend ya..perhaps next week i'll ask you, ah ber, jialing..etc. go yamcha or jonker la k...haha..

i miss you guys too...

Busy Weekend?

Hmmmm let's see...i'm suppose to meet up with some people...
1. go for bandcamp which is on sat to mon??
2. meet up with raelynn?not sure yet..
3. christine coming back asking me out on saturday also??with pey yein i guess...but not confirmed yet...so pretend not to know 1st..since u didnt confirmed with me the time...haha..(will see how it goes k)..
4. there's IJC band performing at 3pm, sat in mp also...
5. meeting up with david's gang on sat night for steamboat??
6. yingying's gang watching pirates of the carribean on sat afternoon

omg...how m i suppose to be there for so many ppl at the same time...hmmm...this is what i planned, ask david's gang for steamboat on fri if possible since he'll be back to KL on sun..if really can't..no choice..rush down from camp...although i'll be makan with tsu chong's gang in the afternoon at seoul garden on fri..nvm...eat another time steamboat on the same day then...hmmm..band camp...i'll still go...but how about ij band performing??...rare occasion...perhaps they have smtg different...going for sure...i'll rush down from ayer keroh to mp for the concert then rush back to camp also...Hmm..because of the performance...have to say sorry to yingying's gang who will be watching pirates...the time just dun match...and i'll ask some other frens to watch with me then...dun have to wait for me...raelynn...perhaps she got 2 weeks holiday...can yamcha with her some other days i guess...hmmm christine...sorry la eh??u only msg me without telling me the time..estimated in the afternoon ny...cant planned anything for u yet...but i'll try and find some slot for u n py...hehe...

Just hope there isn't anything else coming in my way this weekend...or else i'm going to bang my head against the wall...haha...see ya guys...it just feel great when you guys still remember me...hehe..cheers

Jokes!!

hmmm..for the past few days of my life...it can never seems to be better than tat!!i met great people around me...and met up with some old pals...haha..they're still the same...never change a bit...lol...jokers!!okay..tues..i went to school..hmmm...purpose of it??eat mee ta(still so nice), meet up with my seniors, and went n take my SPM cert...slownyaa~~while waiting for my seniors...i met pn goh bee peng...haizz..1st ques she asked me..why r u here...macam not welcome me ny...haha..but tat's how she talk...lol...and i said come n see u lorrr....she's laughing all the way..hmmm...same all pattern..like to tease teachers..kakaa...then i met mr. tay, mr. lee..hmmm...all never changed wan..maybe white hairs la...when my seniors were here..we ate mee ta and guess who we saw...bro mike...haha..3 of us were like trying to run away from him...so funny!!but we didnt get the chance..bro mike took his stacks of books...put it on our table..haha!!!great..no choice..had to sit with him...THERE ARE 3 THINGS BRO WILL NEVER CHANGE,

NUMBER 1: NEVER LIKE MATHS AND SCIENCE SUBJECTS
NUMBER 2: ALWAYS COMPLAINS AND GOT ANGRY WHEN HIS STUDENTS COME BACK TO VISIT ONLY MATHS AND SCIENCE TEACHERS, NOT HIM!!
NUMBER 3: THROW TABLES,BOOKS and SHOUTING AWAY IN CLASS UNTIL THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNOWS IT

Just about he's about to sit with us...the 1st thing my senior did was to tease him...and he said,

Fren 1:heii bro, still teaching english??

(and guess what he replied)

Bro M: ohh i can teach any subject you know(bragging)

Fren 1: ohh izzit, how about addmaths?"*there goes bro michael with his face*

haha...i almost got choke on the fishball..wat the heck..and guess what...our favourite pn goh chee peng so ngam passed by...and 1 of them tried to tempt him again!!

Fren 1: bro wait ar, i think i saw my favourite teacher pn goh!!*goshh, u should see his face!!frust!!*

Bro M: Fine, it's okay..i had edi said before your SPM, you guys only come back to see your maths n science teachers...blabla..(exactly the same old stuffs he likes to say in the class)

hahah...lol..my seniors are just too *sampat* and i was laughing all the way with these jokers around...

and lastly, bro mike's favourite act..throwing tables across the class...sounds odd horr..ya..he memang odd wan...where got brother like that wan??and just he;s about to walk away...he said...

Bro M: I'm off to class already..if you hear tables flying around and shouting away, you know where i am

Us:(SPEECHLESS)

okay..the 2nd victim of the day was another sir..cannot mention his name..haha..he's famous for tipu students wan..lol..i cant believe i said it here..haha...All our teachers who met us, said one of my senior slim down...but this sir actually said in front of us, "heii..u put on weight edi horrr...and u tone down a lot..."we were like...ohh great..he didnt change a bit also...and we asked sir whether if he's sure of him or not...or is it he's refering to someone else whom he might mistaken...and he said,

anonymous: yes i remember it's him, how can i forget him, i still remember how he look like..BUT I FORGOT HIS NAME.

what a joke!!..haha..

Us: sir you sure arr??many of the teachers said he slim down worr, tone down yes la..but where got put on weight?

*he just smiled*

we continue asking him...

Us: then sir, he became more handsome o not..(hoping he say yes so that we can tease our friend)but..

anonymous: *change topic*..

what the heck...trying to make a joke out of there...haha..but he actually changed topic...

okay after 10 min, he walked away, and goshh..we were laughing non-stop...my fren said...

fren 1: dia ni sikit pun tak ubah eh?masih so good in telling lies!!

haha...and we just found out he got masters..ooppss..from this tip, u guys can know who izzit edi...haha..

fren 2: ehh betul ar the fella got masters, beli punya or fake wan...haha...

Fren 1: that's why, dunno how he got it, I still remember what he taught us, that ahli dewan rakyat can become ahli dewan negara also...haha...teach us wrong stuff he pandai...

Fren 2: yala yen yi, last time in class, he always said how good is him, and said the way he teaches in class, is how the professor teaches in university, and he's always trying to action around with his file, i still remembered he said,"i come to class and teach with my file you know"..alahhh...like la very great..i also used files to put my notes when i study...hahaha..

YenYi:haha..really ar...omg...bring file also must action eh?

*as he can still be seen at our distance*

Fren1: ehh, he nvr use file edi worr..got papers only in his hand,..why?downgraded ar?..haha..

Us:"laughing away"

btw..they're not malay fellas...they're babas...but they like to translate these jokes in malay..maybe it sounds more funny i guess...haha...hmm..now i'm wondering why these jokers can still be that smart when they're are not only ordinary jokers, but mad jokers...one of them finished their STPM with 4.0 and another 3.8...and i always thought genius like these are always nerds...haha..the 1 finished his STPM with 4.0?..had always get straight As' since,UPSR,PMR n SPM...crazy!!

after that, we had tea with mr lee..and we just had some nice chit chat...and then few of my juniors just came and say hi to me as recess bell rang edi...and one of my junior told me that bandcamp is just this weekend...great..more plans...

hmmm that nite itself..i asked one of my juniors to yamcha with me...and we talked about wat's going to happen in bandcamp...and mainly just chit chat...

yesterday?okay..i woke up at 9 smtg...but went to sleep back...until 11..then i just online, played piano..and at 2pm..i went n played badminton with my seniors again...around 7 of us...n that 2 jokers were one of us...okay..we had a lot of nice time together...and we went back at around 4 smtg...guess i'll be seeing u guys again this weekend i suppose??hmmm..most probably in bandcamp?or maybe just tonite..yamcha..bluekss...

Forgiving myself first or you?

Trustworthy is the most valuable thing where you can't buy it with money...
The question comes when if you just lose someone's trust one day, and all you want is explaination,
will you shame that person on what he/she did to you?or are you going to keep quiet?
Well,i had tried the toughest part by keeping it to myself..and it didnt work out
Now..i just have to bear with what i did, and If i could forgive myself...
yes,i'm full of disappointment...i still want that trust..and i'll forgive you if you could just admit it just now..
i know it's not that simple..and it's not easy to say sorry neither..
This is what i meant when sorry meant a lot...
Just like when i first lied to you...i was so sorry...and all i could do is to ask forgiveness from you..even i have to say a thousand sorry...but since then, you didnt trust me anymore...
How bout you??you didn't even have the courage to apologise..so why blame me when you did more than me?
Everyone has a choice, includes u, and people made the best out of it..
Even the sandman in Spiderman 3 apologise when he killed his uncle,
He tried and hunt down that person who did so, and even killed the wrong guy,
In the end, Spiderman forgives him after he heard his explaination...
so why can't you?you rather hurt me with your words??
are you going to make the same mistake as him?
when he's uncle tried to stop sandman and said
"why dont you just put down the gun and go back"
Sandman can have the car that he want to escape, but there's no need for him to kill spiderman's uncle
he did gave him a chance to undo his bad deed
but he didnt use it properly and shot him...

Well, I just hope you learn this and it is practically important next time for you,
It's from me and your beloved friends..
Think twice before you make a decision,
Think wise before something happen.

HAizz...If you could just say sorry one day...

Gang-gang

haha..well...it's been a long time since i spend my time with my f3 gang consist of david,thye wey n aaron....still rmb how we used to cycle in ujong pasir...haha..the mad bicycle gang..lol..well today at last we get to meet each other...normally either 1 of us will be bz and can't make it...but today david msg me tat he's back in malacca...the minute i heard tat...i replied him and yamcha...and he agreed..so i called thyewey..but dunno wat was he doing...with his gf i guess...nvr pick up my phone...so i called aaron n he agreed to meet up too..so i asked aaron to contact thye wey instead...hmmm..around 7pm just now...we confirmed the venue and time...we planned to meet at KOTA at 9pm...but still...david came late...n it's not 5-10 min late..almost an hour..what the...haha...but nvm...the night is always young...we talk non-stop and laugh as if nobody's there...what the heck...somehow it's nice to meet u guyss again..hmmm..we wanted to stay longer...but too bad our cinderella aaron have to be back b4 12..haha..or else the mum will start nagging...n guess wat...b4 12...around 11.30..his mum already start calling...lol..so we start planning again when is our next gathering...hmmmm...as the 3 of them is having exams...aaron n thye wey will be finishing coming week..but david..pheewww...long way to go smr huh??nvm lar..A levels...wat u expect...enjoy arr...lol...but david agree he will come back next week for us...n aaron suggested to go for steamboat at malim...steamboat again??the last week i had it twice already in seremban 2...just opposite jusco..the 1st time went with my sir, yinleng and another guy from inti..his name is calvin..2nd time..i went with chinphang,kianvi,sid and boon hang...lol..and guess who i met?one of the sfi fella...matthew..with his gang from nilai college i think...n 2 of his so called kai-mui..came to me and say hi..i'm matthew's eldest sis and another wan say i'm his younger sis...i'm totally stunned...wat the heck...then matthew say dun care themm...lol...but they're sporting i guess...dun be so mean..hehe...u should feel u got the honour to have these 2 gals as ur sis...haha...okay...back to the topic..errr...so we agreed to it for steamboat next week...well..this kind of stuffs..is always subject to change...dun put too much hope on it..or else disappointment will turn up...haha...but i really hope to meet u guys again lorrr...felt so great to have u guys in my life and we're still the same...crapping all the way and laugh as if nobody's business..hahaha...okay..it's 1.22am..n i think it's time for me to sleep soon...cheers..:)

Hmm..it's been quite a while since i last blog here..well..i'd just finish my finals yesterday...n god.i'm so happy with it...but,it didnt last for a day..not even when i think of my summer break(3months+)..well, i miss her actually..i tried to find her..but somehow she's not there anymore,we even ended up quarreling over some stupid stuffs..haizz..is it tat difficult for me to talk to her nowadays??watever i do or say,she'll put a conclusion to i'm over-reacting..y m i always hurt by your words,i'm not somebody who got ntg to do and find you, u know?i called because i miss you, i just wan to hear your voice,i wouldn't be tat free to tell u nonsense if i think tat's not important u know, i care..i care a lot..i just want you to protect urself..even i did say wrongly the day before, i apologise and i did say u can keep if you like it, but you were the one who said you'll did that for me..and so..why are you blaming me that i'm over-reacting towards it?i didnt say u cant keep it rite..i just thought u will do wat u said..but suddenly u just pop those words out of my hp screen...why wouldnt i be angry?i never thought of controlling u, NEVER had that intention..but but...haizz..

Well, somehow i feel you are trying to search something you have lost and you trying your best not to hurt anyone..like what you said in your blog, there are some answers were left unanswered and there are certain stuffs that u've never dared to touch, where all ur sorrow and pain came from over the years...it really caught my attention when you wrote this..i feel so sad..and it seems like i still need to know u better..there are lots more stuffs that i didnt know about u...But each time i tried to get closer...u'll just push me away...and i've been searching through the dark for traces of love that you left inside my heart...i've seen so many sweet memories that everytime i think over it,I feel like reaching my hp to call you..but each time i want to do so..i'll stopped and put it down..i'm scared to call you..knowing that we'll hurt each other again with words..i only want you to be there again like u used to be when i feel like hearing your voice...I miss you..and i want to be there for you when you need me..will u let me know what you are facing?i'll figure out something if i can...just dun be so unfair to me..dun drive me off anymore please..it hurts me..really..it's just too heartbroken...

The Four Sublime States (Cattaro Brahmavihara)

If of the same status, bear metta (loving kindness) in your mind.
Where there is no metta, there may be competition in your mind.

If of inferior status, bear karuna (compassion) in your mind.
Where there is no karuna, there may be desirous of ill-treatment in your mind.

If of superior status, keep along mudita (sympathetic joy or rejoicing at others' happiness and prosperity) in your mind.
Where there is no mudita, there may be jealousy in your mind.

If not possible to save others, keep along upekkha (equanimity) in your mind.
Where there is no upekkha, there may be sorrow in your mind.

Keeping these sublime states in mind, will all beings be happy

The past Few Days

1st of May
Hmmm..woke up very early on the day itself...went to temple with sir again...and guess what...we met jade yenn and christine there...there i go introducing them to my sir again...kaka...then after tat we went in n pray...then following we did Pindata(if i never spell wrongly)..errr it's the food offering session to the monks...then after tat we went makan breakfast...went mp and dataran..did some shopping...then went home n rest...wanted to watch spiderman tat day...and pheww...the queue is damn long...so we didnt manage to buy the ticket...so we went shopping around again n we had lunch at my grandma house again...kesian him have to become vegetarian as me for that day...haha...then we rest for a while...while resting..i played some song for him...ahem..he got the honour to hear me playing man..jkjk...haha...then we went to the beach n i brought him to portuguese settlement...okay...we saw a lot of tore down roofs...i guess it was the tiny tornado...hehe...then at nite..i brought him to friend's cafe..and i met epin and zheng ling...waaa just a couple of months nvr see zhengling...she became very pretty edi...n she even told me she got bf edi...wat a shock...haha..there we goes..sitting down..enjoying our cups of coffee...then i wanted to bring him for supper...curry chicken rice...haizz..so sad...everything sold finish edi..so early finish dy??hmmm...no luck i guess....so we went back home straight n sleep..haha...

2nd of May
ntg much happen on today..my sir went back to semenyih edi..as he is not feeling well..hmm..maybe i didnt entertain him well kua..haha..tats y he feel so sick...err..then i got li chia to teman me to send him to the tol...then fetch her back...after tat..wanted to ask yy since she is the 1 suggested to watch movie tat day but i say i cant...n when i can..she say she cant..goshhh...i so sien...haha...went back online...n took a nap...at nite??the same old thing again online...how boring...

3rd of May..
okay..i planned to study...but it didnt work out...i got up at 1pm instead...haha..then was checking my mails n stuffs..n tat li chia sudd say she got no class edi...heading back...then i asked her to stop by my house as i got smtg to ask her...*confidential*...then she took 1 whole file of my songs back...it took me so long to dwld the whole file and u took it in 1 hour?...so not fair..then i went n study for a while..had dinner at my grandma's place...came home study again...then bigkiat say wanted to ask me out for yamcha...then i asked her to ask bearbear to tag along..hmm...then no sign of them edi...so i guess it was cancel...so i online instead....there goes chatting n chatting..

4th of May..
woke up very early...went n had MCD breakfast with lichia again..haizzz..see her 3 days in a row..well luckily got her..if not i will be bored to death...well bcoz of the RM4 MCD breakfast we went..but we went there we didnt buy tat set..sampat..then wanted to queue up for the spiderman as i dun wan to buy on saturday..knowing there will be a lot of ppl on saturday..so i went there to queue...n it was only 11.30am..guess what..the queue is as long as the day i went with my sir...my god...so we walk off there...n went to IJC as she wants to take the concert tickets from her junior...meanwhile i asked her to find my sis..so tat i could ask my sis to buy for me the tickets...haha.(since she's watching anyway with her frens tat day)..then while waiting for tat tortoise to come out...i was in the car like half n hour??n luckily she dropped her laptop for me...haha...omg..i saw a lot of pics n clips inside...thank u for making my day better..i laugh till i dropped...then she fetched me back..n asked me to help her with her website...HELP u know..in the end..i'm the 1 DOING for her...stupid tortoise..only know how to drink her 100PLUS there n shake her leg..while sms-ing smr...ishhh...after she went back..i wanted to study but i was too tired...lol...took a nap...then start studying from 11-2..rajin sialzz....

Today...
woke up at 10..NO CAR!!.omg..i'm suppose to meet ying ying at 12pm..no choice but to ask her to fetch me...haha...thank u yy...errr we went n had burger king...then watched 1.30spider man till around 4?then we headed to asian havana cafe...hmmm..had a nice chat...talk about a lot of stuffs...got lots of secrets...haha..then around 5.30..went back...go n find vanessa..but she havent reach home when i'm edi there..so her mum invited me in..we talked quite a lot...till she reached home..then took my hp cover...and thanks for giving it to me for free..well..when i reach home..nap again..(these few days keep on take nap..dunno why so tired)..hmmm..after half n hour wake up...bcoz of somebody who msges me for no reason just to tell me tat she got blue black...babi betul...haha...then a while more...i receive sms from someone..."things further on are not meant to be tell"...

Wesak Day Procession

oooo...last mon..i had my IT exam...haha..communication technology(this time i nvr read wrongly..bluek)..n it was okay i think(i seriously dunno how i did)..errr..n after the exam...i was rushing back to pack my stuffs..n my sir(Mr. Yeoh)..came to Malacca with me for the procession nite...n also the chanting session...hmmm..it was a great day...so we started the jouney around 1pm back to malacca afraid there will be jammed along the highway...i guess we were lucky to leave early..n we reached malacca around 3 smtg..ohh and he stayed with me of course in malacca...so we just rest a while...and we talked a lot...then after that went to my grandma place...had some light dinner before the procession..okay...so i receive a msg from my fren saying the chanting session is 6.30..so we went there around 6...and fuuu...so many ppl is already there...well the session is a bit out of schedule...it started at 6.45...n the procession starts around 7.15...hmmm...i saw a lot of my frens there...let me recall....when i went in SKE(Seck Kia Eenh)...the 1st person i met was my very far cousin..yingying..with her frens..so we just say hi to each other...then introduce her to my sir..kakaa...then after tat i saw a few more cousins in there also...and i got a call from my bestie fren...jin wen..saying that he's behind me...and i didnt saw him...sowiee larr..dun always say i action ma..so many ppl there...expect me to see you merr...haha..then i called tee hai...n asked him where will the chanting be..so we went in n pay respect...and after that i saw more of my frens..i saw poh geok, denis tan and a few more...then ny i realise i suppose to find ee fen...so i called her...n ask her where is she...haha..she was late...then i saw my band members...mr chong, lingling...etc..hehee..When the procession starts...me, fen n my sir starts to jalan..and we were wondering who will we meet over there...great..fen was so disappointed cause she couldnt find any of her frens but me??haha..i kept waving my hands with my frens...LOL..she ask me to stop waving la..she so sad she couldnt find any of her frens...bluekss...ohhh i saw ms lim(sfi teacher)..donovan(my uni fella=so unexpected to see him there)..then i saw my longlost cousin..calvin chow with his bro, after tat i saw han sern, kathy, amy, wendy, yong xiang, yong qiang, ca wei, yuen shun, cin you, err 1 of my leo club member(haha forgotten her name), derrick, Mr. Lee, desmond, jin guan,kenny,..etc..actually i'm surprise to see so many lost contact faces there...haha..so happy to see them...wanted to have more time to talk to them...but too bad..tak de chance...nvm..i'm sure we will meet again some day...so after finish the whole procession...we were quite hungry...so i brought my sir to amote and had ICE...yy n fen did ask me whether if i wan to join them for supper when we were already at Amote..too bad..i didnt saw the msg and realise they sent a msg when i'm edi at hoome..haha..sowiee...next time larr k....hmmm...was having a lot of nice time with you guys larrr...Happy Wesak Day everyone..

No Sorry Needed

Sorry seems to be the most difficult word to say out
When did we really mean it before?
Why are we using it and so sensitive towards this word?
A very big realisation comes to me today that why do we say sorry when we never mean it before?
Do we really understand the word sorry?
Guyss..It's not a simple word...It has a lot of meaning behind this word..
Even complicated than anything...

So what do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?

Haizz..even myself don't know..these few days i'd been acting very mean...I knew myself and It was done purposely, just like how it was when you really had no choice...somehow i just feel like letting go, but it don't seems to happen...the possessiveness is so strong..i really can't tell how to let go..

I'd never blame you..I really never ask any sorry from you..I don't need a sorry for now..because it's not you..it's me...I'm sorry, I'm hurt, I'm disappointed with myself, not you..Will you forgive me one day?I am very angry with myself actually...you won't understand what i am feeling now..even myself i can't figure out what's happening to me...I just hope you will forgive me one day if i am mean to you...i am forced to..i just want you to have your life your way..I want you to stick to the way you are as if i never exist before..I'm just nobody who don't worth anything from you...haizz...just why would you still wan to stick with me when i always hurt you woee?Stop being stupid k..i'd never do anything to make you happy before...but he did..he's always been nice to you...always better than me...i only know how to make you sad loeee...i just want you to cherish him again...moreover,he's always been the same...he didn't change..he still cares for you...somehow he just don't want you to know anymore that he cares...

A very good saying:

Everything is okay in the end;
If it is not okay, then it's not the end

Both of you haven't come to the end k..