Examsss....

hmmm okay...for the past few days i didn't came and online because i was bz studying..and guess what...i studied the wrong subject..goshhh...how in the hell it happen..i dunno...but it takes me 2 days to study for the sub..and i studied wrongly...it suppose to be Digital media, but i studied communication technology which it suppose to be on coming mon...not wed...bluekss...and i only found out this on the morning itself at 9am..my exam was 2pm..i was rushing studying in the car traveling back to my campus...haha..errr today i just had my chemistry test and also english...at last...no more english for me after i hand up the last report which i need to write 1500 words...(boring..)haha...good..i wont have to write such essays anymore...was suffering the whole 3 sem with that english...errr chemistry was not okay also..out of 12 marks..i only manage to get 6.5...(fast huh to get back my result)hmmm...i really need to do smtg with it..the finals for chemistry is on the 9th of May...for following mon..it's communication technology again...ohh nvm..i studied before already since i studied the wrong sub b4 that...i better score well or else i'm going to be very keksim with it...okay..after that paper...i will be going back straight to my hometown..and my chemistry sir wanna tag along and enjoy for a few days..wee~~!!will be bringing him to the wesak procession...then show him around malacca...also bring him go n makan nice foods..kakaa.a...must fatten him up...he's kinda hansum too...purposely dun wan to spell it correctly...maybe introduce to those gal friend's of mine who always wanted to see him when i mention him to them before...bluekss...this is ur chance...haha

Love is All About You(continued)

Love is giving worth to yourself.

You were born with an abundance of talents & abilities.
The world can sometimes create conditions that make you forget what they are!
Tell yourself that you are beautiful, talented, unique, capable and skilful.
When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it.

Love is receiving with joy what is entitled to you.

To receive joyfully is a blessing.
When you accept something with love and joy,
You are telling yourself,
“I am worth it, I deserve this.”
This is self-love of the highest level.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve,
You get even less than you settled for.

If you have the eyes of love, you just see the love wherever you go.
(to be continue..)

Love is All About You

Love is accepting yourself for who you are and who you are not.

Accept your strength and weaknesses.
Accept your good and bad habits.
Accept yourself, warts and all.
Acknowledgement and acceptance is the first step towards changing negative behaviour.
In this whole entire universe, we can find only one unique YOU!

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Love is giving up self-pretense and simply be who you are.

Wearing a mask all the time is tiring and suffocating.
It also means you don’t trust or allowed the world to know you as you are.
Give up that mask and be the radiant, beautiful and kind person that you were born to be.

Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness.
The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.
(to be continue...)

I Shouldn't Have Come Into The Picture

Haizz..another problem arises after one another,..was having hard time studying...n just before she offline..her mood had changed...n she said she get it now...i'm puzzled..Well just before i offline..i checked my email..n goshh..i wish i didn't see that..sometimes i really feel you are stupid when you still have her...you hurt her..again n again..and so i called..."sorry to hear that you're crying"...and it's ok that she put down the phone...I'm sorry..but i really can't help her anymore...I shouldn't have come into the picture and be another burden for her...It's already so obvious that she didn't forget him..and she still loves him...as much as last time...and she did say no she don't love him anymore...actually...you're just avoiding...u say u dun love him bcoz he hurts you so much...and i really shouldn;t have come into the picture and makes things worse...Suddenly i see the picture so clearly that I'm the 3rd Party...I should have trust myself and shouldnt love her in the 1st place...I should only do my part as a kor...not more than that...like what i do for the 1st 3 years...haizz..even one day you find me...i understand that you didnt forget him...and even we are together...we won't be happy also...no matter what....i just want to say i'm leaving you...for good...i just dont wan to be a burden for you 2...its me who caused the 1st arguement between you two..i caused you to be so sad...it's me..i'm really a failure kor..i always thought i manage to do my part n take care of you...but no..i realise i'm just useless like what i always say to you..i've hurt you...sorry for everything...now i understand why you wanted to let go so many things...i really really do now...sorry for hurting you...

Exam is Tomorrow

ok guess what...tomorrow is my 1st final exam...and i havent read n prepare anything yet...omgg!!~~i'm crazy a bit...hmmm..well sad??ya..actually very...but there is really ntg i can do to help her unless herself...everybody faces the same thing...everybody got hurt before...it's stupid not to face the fear but avoiding it..haizz..i just hope time will help you grow a bit more matured...there are a lot of things we can't control...like our feelings towards each other...if only i could stop it just like the switch by pressing on and off...i wouldnt be so sad...i'm sorry to let you see i'm this sad..it's not that i want...but it just come...hehe...and no...you didnt do anything wrong..so u need not say sorry to me...i dun like the word either...n i wan to say thank you..for realising smtg...i didn't love the wrong person...yes i repeated myself again and again because i'm very sure each time i face it...even though it hurts...i dun expect myself to wait..but my feelings are always there...i think my feelings will be the 1 waiting...i'll just enjoy myself..i just hope when you are ready..and more matured in thinking...you'll find me back...i just hope you do what you say...i think i disappoint a lot of my frens also..sorry that i couldnt find back myself...sorry for not being the yen yi with u guys...and sorry i didnt smile anymore when i was with u just now...just realise a lot of stuffs that i didnt do...thanks for temaning me and letting me to see you..u're still that sweet..and i see you're much better than weeks before this...all the best in ur studies..when u face difficulties in anything..rmb to find me n share it with me...cheers..

Ordinary Day

let's see today wat i did...hmmm...

- wake up
- online
- chatting
- visit school, teachers n band
- ate school mee(aww so nice...miss it)
- went n find ying ying(had a nice time talking to her)
- came back (shit..forgotten my dinner)
- chatting again (cause of forgetting my dinner)
- now is 11.45pm..(ok better go n eat dinner now).....ehh!!it's supper..haha

p/s...ying ying is my cousin..very very far cousin...alamak i...dunno how far till cant see her...tsk tsk...

Later...study for CT(Communication Technology)..my 1st paper on Wed..bluekss..

Study la Weiiii....

yayy!!I'm happy with myself i think today...i've finally did my part and not avoiding stuffs anymore...n i really feel so relieved letting out my feelings....but not all yet...but i'm satisfy when i get to say out something which i wanted to say all these while...but..haizz...i know she wouldn't take back her words...find me when she's ready??...okay..i'll listen to it..but just to be friend...well it hurts...but that's the only thing i could have from her..we cant go back to where we started the relationship,... we couldnt go back to the PREVIOUS state before we started the relationship also...i dunno..kinda stupid actually...like what christopher say...i'm stupid..i do this for nothing...it's not nothing...it is something...at least she was happy for 1 month..at least...hmmm...i guess i got to start concentrating my studies already..i already let myself down a lot..ya..i did most of the things which i dun do normally such as hurting her especially when it comes to lying...i wouldnt forget it...i did this even i know i m going to lose her...but i didnt tell anyone about it...but now..who cares...its over...she edi lose faith in me...i just wan to say sorry to u...sorry to myself too..1 thing i am still sure of it is i didnt stop loving you n didnt love the wrong gal...n nope i wont find someone else...its not impossible...its possible...its not being immatured...but yes i mean it...i've seen too much of suffering n stuffs...so i think i found wat i want...which is pure love(unconditional love)...where most people cant do it...till now i have only see two couples which they really found so...so envy of them...ya its unconditional love n not just Passionate love or Companionate love..although they are real too...but its not that i want...many prefer passionate love as they find it more interesting n living with it is so much...errr..wat should i say...not boring..haha...wherelse pure love is not easy to be practice...even i cant seem to find it in me myself...most of the time when i was with you...it's just passionate love...where we got ourselves so attached together...okok...time to give up for love stuffs..hmmm..something i will never regret...i found the Ms. RIght..kakaa..it'll always stays in my heart...n i wont forget it...wont stop loving too...

I miss you a lot(5 weeks already not seeing you and it is going to be 6)

Stupid me

ohhh my god..i think i click the wrong button today...and all my previous post were deleted...haizzz..these are the only ones i get to retrieved and saved in my computer...

Farewell My Fren

Hmmm...yesterday...Jasse had an open house an invited most of his ex-schoolmates from sfi....but too bad a lot of them are not in malacca....well the purposes he's having it because he just got his scholarship to be a pilot...woww!~...relakss la bro...so fast wan to fly so far from us edi merrr....ya...and he's going to langkawi on the 4th of May....Well...the open house was nice....met some old pals where i haven't see them for a long time...it was nice.....I drove wai hong to his place and when i enter his house...the 1st thing..i saw kwok ming....he's still that gila as usual and offer me a cup of milo...funny...so nice of him...i ask him sure or not woee...he say really lar...i smell it...and there's liquor smell....he say just taste it larr...it's nicee...so...i just take it....and test drink.....ohhhh it was smooth...with caffeine flavour.....too bad i just rmb....i haven't take any food before i drink it...nevermind....so i walk around his house.....and talk to some friends....after that, some of them went out and get him a present in the car....haha...where in the hell they get that....its not ordinary underwear....the size of it is damn huge.....nahhh...not asking him to wear....for him to remember us.....most of them signed the names and all that on it.....there were so many of us....and there were 5 pieces of underwear waiting for them to signed....ok after that...i went with wai hong to get some food and start eating....had mutton meat, roti bomb, roti jala, roti kosong....all sorts of roti larrr.....until han siu came....omgg...i remembered 1 thing....when he went and order roti telur....the man tell him don't have edi....but the next second...another fren of mine, Ca Wei went n ask for roti tampal....that guy say ok..wait a while....han siu look at ca wei....and look back at the guy....omg...that was so funny....what the heck...wai hong n a few more frens were near there laughing non-stop....roti telur dun have but roti tampal got huh??where in that hell come from....han siu thought there were no eggs already...so he gave up...but roti tampal...fuhhh~~he was so kek sim and kept complaining while eating his roti kosong....lol...then when ca wei's roti tampal was ready...he went n kacau han siu somemore...omg...all of us had a great time laughing....ok...so after the chit-chatting and laughing....it was around 10 something....and wai hong asked me to fetch him back already...he's having exam today....good luck ya in your chemistry.....and another reason i wan to go back is to cabut from there as kwok ming kept asking me to drink his different mixture of liquor....let's see...another 1 was liquor + 7UP....that was sweet....not very teruk....the 1st time the 7UP was too much....the 2nd time....the liquor is half of the glass & 7UP also half.....i asked jin wen to try 1st...haha....after drinking that he begin to pening edi....and i finished off....then before i cabut.....all of them ask me not to go back 1st....i was like cannot larr...drank so much already n it's so far somemore.....need to fetch wai hong back....gave a lot of excuses....kakaa....n guess what...kwok ming still insist me to drink 1 last cup....but this time nvr add with anything....no ice, no water, no nothing....ok great....it was one quarter full....and it is strong liquor wan....43% of liquor....after having the mutton meat already i feel heaty....no choice....i telan that glass of liquor and cabut straight as mau ask me to continue 2nd wan...i think he was drunk la that day....lol....fuhhh~~my body was so hot....and i drive all the way from Alai....back to my house....another thing came into my mind...why in the hell jasse wan to shift until so far....hahaha...his house before this was in ujong pasir only....so near to me...nevermind...his house is so so so so much bigger...errrr i thought i saw 2 semi-D houses combined together....but wai hong say 3.....well nevermind...next time only find out again....so...go home....rest...online....as usual....haha...

Well Jasse, thanks for inviting us....and we wish you all the best there...do take care of yourself and don't forget us k?...when you come back remember to find us....(How sad another of our friend going to leave us...who's next....ohhh ya...the MMU engine guys...most of them going cyber soon...)...cheers..:)

The wallet

I'm trying to forget you, forget the things we'd argue,
But somehow, these few days, I kept seeing things which makes me reminded of you,
Especially the wallet you gave me......

I wonder how many millions of people having this wallet,
Yesterday when I went out with my friends to celebrate her birthday,
Goshhh...the same wallet appear...and it was from my friend's girlfriend,

Today I saw the same wallet again,
But I don't know that guy,
And I remembered your face was so disappointed when you gave me this wallet,
Where it suppose to be my 1st valentine's present from you,
But someone gave me one before you, and it was a wallet too...
Luckily it wasn't the same wallet...

When I receive it from you,
I didn't want to use it but I kept it nicely,
Until I see your face was so disappointed a few times,
I'd decided to used it to see the same smile on your face again

I know you're angry of me, angry of everything....
But if there's anything that i could do to make and see you smile again...
I will....
Maybe the only thing is to leave....
I just miss your smile dear...If only you were here...

Freedom

"None of us has the power to make someone else love us",
"But we all have the power to give away love, to love other people",
"We change the kind of person we are",
"And we change the kind of world we live in"...by Rabbi Harold Kushner.

When we allow, we give others the opportunity to be who they are,
Allow them the freedom of growing at their own pace,
Their knowledge will be better absorbed,
Allowing is selfless,
Allowing is love,
I only hope by allowing her to be alone will make her grow

I'm willing to let you go, but I know I can't forget you....

Was it the right choice?

Ya, after hearing what she said,
It hurts most, and today it was the first time i got so mad,

I always thought we had the greatest time together,
But now you claimed it was the same all these while,

I always thought you mean it when you said you love me,
But now you said you got hurt too much and you didn't know what it is,

If you know why I asked you not to stay outside that late,
You would have feel that I was caring, not controlling,
I gave you most of the time and freedom you want,
You can have the whole morning and afternoon,
But not middle of the night,
I just don't want to regret when something bad already happened,
I cannot turn back the time to help you,

I'm just being protective,
Because you were the only one i have,

You're blaming yourself for what had happened when i'd said,"It's not that which is happening",
We'd made things clear each time but you always say it's not.

If you know what I meant when I say I need more time from you,
It's because I miss you and I Feel like seeing you,
Not asking the time you have,

If you know what I meant when i say I'll change
I don't change myself, but it changes through my instinct

I didnt force myself to do things for you,
But it came out naturally and willingly,

If you didn't stick to your thinking when she's already far away from us,
You wouldn't blame yourself for what you're doing,
Because you really did nothing wrong,

If you know what's going on,
We wouldn't be arguing now,

If you know why I always called when THINGS get messed up,
It's because i'm scared to lose you,

Now if you know what you're saying,
We won't regret in future,

If this is the right choice for us,
It is the beginning for us.

Will you really come back?
I don't know and I'm really doubting my feelings,

If you do come back, the 1st thing I'll do is to hug you and never let you go away again...

Never look far ahead as you'll never know what's happening the next second
Things won't turned out like that when we knew what went wrong,
And not complaining when things already happened,
But Nobody knows how to predict and know what's in somebody else's mind,
Or else there won't be conflict, we should learn how to face the difficulties and not get hurt by it.

I'll Always Remain Here and Love You.....

不再执著于昨天的痴狂
我的心像是台北的街头
不知该往哪儿走

你的心像闪烁的霓虹
叫人迷恋却也迷惑
我没有把握

谁在怂恿夜的脆弱
抚平的伤又隐隐作痛
是谁说过不再回头
还是让你淹没了我
还是让你将我淹没
想放弃却不能甘心放手
留你在梦中却苦痛了我
等著伤心不如学会承受
反正你不会是我的
想放弃却不能甘心放手
留你在梦中却苦痛了我
等你想起不如先忘记你
反正离开你的人是我

我看着那片晴天用你和我的昨天
风慢慢吹吹干脸上的雨水
我走在那片晴天把你再好好想一遍
我身边温暖的感觉没改变
再遥远再多变
你的爱一直跟着我
在我的耳朵小声说你爱我

你的信还留在铁灰色信箱里
但是我需要雨季后窗外空气
我拿着你握过的伞想念你的手心
失去你的难过这次我不会带着走
就沿着城市中我们曾牵手经过的每个街头
那些欢笑那些拥抱
让我们这份爱走到哪里都有阳光
我看着那片晴天用你和我的昨天
风慢慢吹吹干脸上的雨水
我走在那片晴天把你再好好想一遍
我身边温暖的感觉没改变
再遥远再多变
你的爱一直跟着我
在我的耳朵小声说你爱我
你爱的咖啡店蓝天一大片
就好像我的想念
那些红绿灯那些路口
还是一点没变
我们怎么可以改变
我看着那片晴天用你和我的昨天
风慢慢吹吹干脸上的雨水
我走在那片晴天把你再好好想一遍
我身边温暖的感觉
没改变不会变
我看着那片晴天用你和我的昨天
风慢慢吹吹走眼底的落叶
我走在那片晴天重温你靠在我的肩
我身边温暖的感觉没改变
再遥远再多变
你的爱一直跟着我
在我的耳朵小声说你爱我

Things won't change anymore,
It's the end and I'm sad,
I wonder when will you return,
And maybe you won't also,
But I'm here for you,
I just hope you found someone who can really take care of you,
Who you feel more comfortable with,
Promise me you won't hurt him,
Don't let him go when he's the right one,
Meanwhile I still can lend you my shoulder if you ever need me,
I'll always waiting for your call and messages
I love you...

听你不断呼叫我
划破宁静我的心下堕在难过
讲不出爱没结果
口和唇紧紧闭锁
看也一话都不说
害怕连累你一生日月
憾无缺
只差跟你曾遇过
给过你太多波折
宁愿没拥抱
共你可到老
任由你来去自如
在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到
他比我好
只望停在远处
祝君安好
虽不可亲口细诉
说太多话我想说
但我还是要哑口道别
任由我天空海阔
流翔去只要你白似冰雪
宁愿没拥抱
共你可到老
任由你来去自如
在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到
他比我好
只望停在远处
祝君安好
虽不可亲口细诉
宁愿没拥抱
共你能够终老
任由你来去自如
在我心底
仍爱慕如若碰到
他比我好
只望停在远处
祝君安好多么想亲口细诉

听你不断呼叫我
划破宁静我的心下堕在难过
讲不出爱没结果
口和唇紧紧闭锁
看也一话都不说
害怕连累你一生日月
憾无缺
只差跟你曾遇过
给过你太多波折
宁愿没拥抱
共你可到老
任由你来去自如
在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到
他比我好
只望停在远处
祝君安好
虽不可亲口细诉
说太多话我想说
但我还是要哑口道别
任由我天空海阔
流翔去只要你白似冰雪
宁愿没拥抱
共你可到老
任由你来去自如
在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到
他比我好
只望停在远处
祝君安好
虽不可亲口细诉
宁愿没拥抱
共你能够终老
任由你来去自如
在我心底
仍爱慕如若碰到
他比我好
只望停在远处
祝君安好多么想亲口细诉

写信告诉我今天海是什么颜色
夜夜陪着你的海心情又如何
灰色是不想说蓝色是忧郁
写信告诉我今夜你想要梦什么
梦里外的我是否都让你无从选择
我揪着一颗心整夜都闭不了眼睛
为何你明明动了情却又不靠近
听海哭的声音
叹息着谁又被伤了心却还不清醒
一定不是我至少我很冷静
可是泪水就连泪水也都不相信
你听海哭的声音
这片海未免也太多情悲泣到天明
写封信给我就当最后约定
说你在离开我的时候是怎样的心情
而漂泊的你狂浪的心停在哪里
写信告诉我今夜你想要梦什么
梦里外的我是否都让你无从选择
我揪着一颗心整夜都闭不了眼睛
为何你明明动了情却又不靠近
听海哭的声音
叹息着谁又被伤了心却还不清醒
一定不是我至少我很冷静
可是泪水就连泪水也都不相信
你听海哭的声音
这片海未免也太多情悲泣到天明
写封信给我就当最后约定
说你在离开我的时候是怎样的心情

Part of life(continued..)

The one who takes your hand but touches your heart is a true friend,
We seldom think of what we have, but always think of what we miss,
The more precisely you plan, the harder destiny will hit you,
Don’t make an effort because the best things happen, when least expect them
The greatest events aren’t the loudest but the quietest hours,
Everybody sees how you seem, however, only some know who you are
Love doesn’t require two people to look at each other, but that they look together in the same direction.

I wish you always;

Air to breathe,
Fire to warm you,
Water to drink and
Earth to live in.

Part of Life

People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When someone is in our life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a
need. They have come to assist us through a difficulty, to provide us
with guidance and support, to aid us physically, emotionally or
spiritually.

Some people come into our lives for a SEASON, because our turn
has come to share, grow or learn. They bring us an experience of
peace or make us laugh. They may teach us something we have
never done. They usually give us an unbelievable amount of joy.
But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach us lifetime lessons, things we must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Our job is
to accept the lesson, love the person and put what we have learned
to use in all other relationships and areas of our life. It is said that
love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a
season or a lifetime.(continue..)

Seasons of Life

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.